7 Little Dwarves
by AppleCherry108
Summary: After a freak alchemy accident, Ed gets a split personality. Unfortunatly, it's a tad more split than he can handle. Will Winry be able to solve this extra Ed problem, or will the stress kill her? Please R&R!
1. Why

Me: Ha ha ha…

Ed: Should we be scared?

Me: Oh, yes.

Ed: Oh dear…

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Disclaimer: Me no own!

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**Chapter 1: Why**

Mustang rubbed his temples, eyes jammed shut. "Why…" he asked.

"Colonel," began Ed, Mustang looked up at him. "This is beneath us. We need this time to find a cure for—" The colonel glared at the boy, silencing him.

"Why…" he repeated, trying to remain calm.

"If you ask me," said Ed; Roy looked up again. "I say we ditch these losers and go find some cute girls." Mustang considered this for a moment, shook his head roughly, and closed his eyes again.

"Why…" he groaned. He looked up at Ed, blushed, felt horrible about it and turned away. "Why…" He looked over at Ed, felt disgusted, and glanced back down at his desk. He looked down at Ed once more. "Why…" he asked the shorty. Ed glared up at him and stuck his tongue out with a clear loathing of the older man. "Why…" Mustang turned to Ed, who gave him a very dark look. "Why…" the Colonel stared at Ed, who was twitching slightly, trying to remain calm. "Why…"

"Colonel, if you'd just—" said Winry.

"Why…Why…Why are there SEVEN of you?" screamed the colonel, rising from his chair. Each and every Ed looked up at their superior officer and shrugged.

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Ed: Now I'm REALLY scared.

Me: And well you should be.

Ed: …What?

Me: Niargh…Just review, pretty please?


	2. The Great Schism

Roy: Why seven?

Me: You'll find out later.

Lust: I have a guess.

Me: Why are YOU here! Just being here is a spoiler!

Lust: Guh? I was going to say that it'd turn into something like 'Winry and the seven dwarves'.

Me: Ohh… Meh, I guess that'd work to.

Roy: Hello? Get on with the story, please.

Me: Hm? Oh yeah, right… Here we go!

(Quick note): For those of you who don't or have never seen the Japanese version of FMA; Oniisan, Oniichan, Niisan, and Niichan all mean '(big) brother'.

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Disclaimer: Me no own FMA, the 7 others in here though? Hmmm…I'll have to consult my agent about that…lol!

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**Chapter 2: The Great Schism**

Why are there SEVEN of you?" screamed the colonel, rising from his chair. Each and every Ed looked up at their superior officer and shrugged. Mustang sighed and flopped back down to his seat, massaging his temples. "Winry…" he groaned.

"Yes sir…" she sighed, pushing her way through the multiple Full Metals. "About a week or so ago, as you know, you sent Ed out on a mission to hunt for Scar…"

X

X

X

"Winry," said Ed, slightly irritated. "How many times do I have to tell you? It's dangerous here, you might get hurt."

"What if you break your arm again? How will you go on fighting this guy? You could need me out there!"

"And what if you get hurt? Or worse? How am I supposed to deal with that?" Ed stopped walking and sighed. "Just go home Winry, alright?"

Winry blew out her cheeks and glared at the boy. "No." she pouted, "I don't get it, Ed." She crossed her arms and stared him straight in the eye. "Why do you always treat me like this?" Ed turned away, a solemn expression on his face. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Winry…it…it's because I—"

"Niisan!" cried Al, running up to the two. "Scar's here!" he yelled desperately. There was a loud explosion from the direction that Al had come from; a large cloud of smoke submersed the narrow streets of the city with a thick haze.

"Edward!" cried Winry as she felt him dash passed her. The last she saw of him was the back of his red coat quickly escaping her.

"Scar!" called Ed, clearing some smoke so he could see. "I know you're here! Come out!" Slowly, the figure of a middle-aged man emerged from the smoke. It was Scar and he didn't look too happy. Ed glared at him while transmuting his right arm into a blade. "Why are you here?" he asked menacingly.

"…To destroy you once and for all, Edward Elric." he replied, raising his right arm. They glared at each other for a moment, then charged, choice weapons raised. Ed slashed at Scar, but didn't even scratch him. Scar, on the other hand, managed to take hold of Ed's auto-mail arm with his inscribed one. "This ends here, Elric," he snarled. Scar squeezed his opponent's arm; his own beginning to glow as he prepared to rip Ed limb from limb.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Ed slapped his hands together to perform an alchemy. But it was too late. Light erupted from Scar's arm simultaneously with Ed's alchemy. A deafening boom filled the air, light blinding everyone within a good distance of the two. Winry watched in horror as Scar's alchemy ripped through Ed. For a split second, she could've sworn that she saw Ed being torn apart. But just as suddenly as the explosion had occurred, it calmed down significantly, though smoke and rubble still billowed through the streets.

"Edward!" screamed Winry, running over to him. "Ugh," she held her arms up to protect her face from the cloud of smoke that rushed by her. When it had passed, she slowly lowered her arms and opened her eyes to find Scar buried under a pile of rubble that had broken off a building when he had slammed into it. Winry glanced around nervously, trying to find Ed.

"Winry," she heard Al call out to her. "Over here!" She quickly found the brothers and rushed over to them. She fell to her knees before Edward, who was lying on the ground motionless. She glanced up at Al to see that he had a large dent in his breast plate. "I caught Niisan…sort of…" he explained. Winry turned back to Ed.

He wasn't moving at all, and he looked almost peaceful, like he was… was… Winry shook her head. _NO!_ she thought,_ He can't be! He wouldn't die so easily!_ But still, looking down at him only made her even more anxious. "Ed," she whispered, lightly slapping his cheek. Still, he wouldn't move. "Ed," she cried more desperately. When he continued to show no signs of life, Winry felt tears sting at the corners of her eyes. "Ed!" she blurted, choking on tears.

"…uh…"

Winry blinked and looked up at Al. "Did you just hear that?" he nodded, and she turned back to Ed. "Ed, Ed! Say something—anything!" She heard him stir again like he was trying to say something. She leaned down, centimeters away from his face, straining to hear him. "Are you alright?" she breathed.

"…I may need mouth to mouth…"

"WHAT?"

* * *

Ed #1: Oh yeah, my time to shine. All glory to me. 

Me: Pftht! (cough cough) Mmm…right…

Ed #1: I knew it, I am the greatest!

Al: Uhh…I hope my other Niisan won't be as stupid as you.

Ed #1: Huh? Whaddya mean?

Me: 'Niisan', Al? I think maybe you mean 'Neesan'.

Al: I don't like where this is going.

Me: Review please:)


	3. Edwina

Me: Mwa ha ha…

Roy: Should we be scared again?

Me: Umm…yes.

Roy: I don't like being scared. Can I set something on fire instead?

Me: Actually, YOU'LL like this chapter (well…at least the end).

Ed #1: You have a habit of making me feel uncomfortable.

Me: Oh yeah…

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Disclaimer: Me no own, at all. ...well, actually... (Giant newspaper comes out of sky and smacks me) OWE! Okay, okay, me no own, me no own!

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**Chapter 3: Edwina**

Winry leaned down, inches away from Ed's face, straining to hear him. "Are you alright?" she breathed.

"…I may need mouth to mouth…"

"WHAT?" she screamed, scooting back several feet.

Ed sat up, rubbing his head. "Hey, can't a guy try?" Winry only gawked at him, not able to find the right words. Ed looked over at her. "What's gotten into you?" She clenched her fists and ran up to him.

"What's gotten into ME?" she screamed. "What's gotten into YOU? I thought you were dead! How could you make such a lame joke at a time like that?"

Ed blew out his cheeks and turned away. "Joke? I prefer the term 'pick-up line'."

"This can't be happening…" mumbled Winry. "I was the one who died, that must be it." She nodded in agreement with herself and turned back to the brothers. "Alright," she declared. "I'm dead, so none of this is happening, okay?" They stared at her for a minute.

"Um…Winry?"

"Yes, Al?"

"If you're dead, how are you speaking to us?"

She thought about this for a moment. "I'm not sure…but if I'm not dead, then this is definitely a dream." She said firmly.

"A dream, eh? Then I hope it's a really GOOD dream." Said Ed suggestively, winking at her.

"My point exactly."

"Look," said Al, "I know Niisan can be rather stupid at times, but I really don't think you're imagining this."

"Hey, whatever happened to Scar?" asked Ed, saying the smartest thing thus far. They all turned to where the man had previously been unconscious to find that he had long since escaped while Winry was freaking out. Ed sighed. "Oh great, now I have to track him down all over again."

Winry blinked, surprised by the sudden mood swing. "Ed…are you you again?"

He stared at her, then walked up to her and held her hands. "My dearest, I'll be whatever you want me to be."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Niisan, what's gotten into you?" asked Al, approaching the two. "You're acting so…so flirty."

"That's because, dear brother, I'm in the radiant presence of the one and only girl I lo—" he broke off, gazing over at another pretty girl who walked passed them.

"Yeah right," said Winry, slapping his hands away. Ed snapped back to attention.

"Where're you going?"

"Back to Central, we need to report to the Colonel."

Ed groaned. "Not HIM." He watched the other two walk off towards the train station. Ed glanced around, and then dashed off in the other direction.

"Now, Ed, can you please promise that you'll behave in front of your superior off…ice…er…" Winry turned around, Ed nowhere to be seen. "This can't be happening."

"Niichan!"

"Edward!"

"Oniisan!"

About twenty minutes later, the two were still searching. Unfortunately, it seemed to be a lost cause at this point. "We're never going to find him…" grumbled Winry. Suddenly, they heard a loud SLAP from a little ways away followed by a young women's voice saying "well, I never!" It was Ed. Winry and Al rushed off towards the source of the cry. They found a woman in a small café, complaining about a short kid with wandering hands. She pointed them north, and that's where they went. They soon figured out that all they had to do was follow the violated screams, and sooner or later they'd come across Ed. But unfortunately, their luck ran out quickly, as the screams stopped after a few minutes. "It was too good to be true." sighed Winry, flopping down on a stool in front of a bar. "We've lost him…"

"Alphonse!" shouted someone coming up to the two.

"Yes?" asked Al as he turned around to face the speaker. He gasped. "Um…Winry? You might wanna see this."

Winry turned away from the counter to stare at this new person. "No…" she cried, "it can't be…"

"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked the very short, teenaged girl with blonde hair, gold eyes and a metal arm. "Is something wrong, Winry?"

"My life can't get any worse…" sobbed the poor mechanic.

* * *

Ed #1: Am I still the star of this?

Me: You yourself were never the star. You as a whole are the star.

Winry: Oi, what about me?

Me: You're more of the victim here.

Winry: Shoot me, quick, before anymore Eds pop up.

Me: That won't be happening anytime soon. Now…Review! And you'll get cookies.

Al: How?

Me: …magically.

Al: Ugh… Just hurry up and write the next chapter.


	4. Wrong in so many ways

Ed #1: I smell cut scenes from this...

Me: Yeah well, they'll end up in the next chapter.

Al: What kind of stuff did you cut out?

Me: Look at the title of this chapter and let your imagination run free.

Al: You're scaring me again...

Me: Good.

(Quick Note: I apologize for any misspellings, grammatical errors, and what not in this chapter, I didn't exactly have Spell Check availible when I wrote this...)

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Disclaimer: Me no own! Me no own! Me no own! Whaaaaaaaaa! (sobs horribly)

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**Chapter 4: Wrong in so many ways...**

"Seriously, what's wrong?" asked the new girl, approaching Winry.

Al stared at the girl. "Niisan..." he mumbled, "I have a Neesan..." The girl looked up at him and huffed.

"Of course," she spat, "what else would I be?" She looked back over at Winry and smiled gently. "Now, please, tell me what's wrong?"

"YOU'RE WHAT'S WRONG!" shouted Winry, pointing a shaky finger towards the girl. "Why are you a girl? WHY? First you're flirting with me like I was the last woman on the planet. And now you're a GIRL! What have you done with the REAL Chibi-chan?"

In a second, the new girl snapped. "CHIBI-CHAN?" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Don't call me a pipsqueak, or microscopic, or--"

"She didn't say any of that, Neesan!" cried Al, trying to calm down his, err...sister. "But really, how can you prove that you're the real Edward Elric? Especially if Edward is a boy's name?"

"Where're you getting 'Edward' from? I'm Edwina. But, as you already should know, you can call me Eddi." Al and Winry stared at Eddi for a moment. Then, Winry turned away and began to recontimplate her 'I am dead' theory.

"Phew!" sighed a voice from the other end of the bar. "I think I finally lost them. Try taking ME back to Central, will they?" Eddi, Al, and Winry stared at the small boy entering the tavern. Winry stared the longest. She IS dead, by all means, she IS dead. Or at least Ed would be when this was all done and over.

"EDWAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRDDDDD!" she screamed, flying at the boy. She pounced on him and pinned his arm and legs to the floor with her own. "What the hell is going on?" she asked darkly, leaning down on him, inches from his face.

He thought for a moment. "...What I wished for on my eigth birthday?" he asked hopefully. Winry was taken aback, then she noticed the awkward postion they were in. She "ugh"ed with disguest and quickly removed herself from him like he was diseased. Ed sat up and sighed. "It's been eight years and my wish STILL hasn't come true..."

"I know what you're thinking and its WRONG." hissed Winry, completely disguested. "Now," she cleared her throat and turned to both Eds. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" she shrieked. Everyone in the small bar dropped what they were doing and turned to her. Winry stopped flailing her arms and glanced around her. She blushed, shedidn't meanto cause a comotion.

"If you're down making fools of yourself," came a voice from a boy entering the tavern. "Then I think it'd be in everyone's best interest if you followed me." He turned and headed back out the door and into the street. Winry stared after him, mouth agape.

"This just can't be happening..." she mumbled in total shock. Al patted her back and ushered her and his siblings after the new boy.

"Make up you're mind," whispered Al, "are you my Neesan, or my Niisan?" He shook his head and wondered if this new Ed would be smarter than the other two. He had no idea...

X

X

X

Al: Yay! Niisan's smart now!

Ed #3: Oh please, you can not possibly contimplate the extent of my vast knowledge and understanding of things. In fact, it is competely irrelivant that I explain myself to you.

Al: ...I miss the stupid Niisan. At least I could understand him...

Ed #1: And that's the glory of me.

Eddi (Ed #2): He just insaulted you.

Ed #1: He did?

Eddi: Ugh... Just review, and maybe this'll get intelligent quicker...

Ed #3: With me in here, there is more than enough inteligence to go around.

Eddi: Maybe it'll just down the ego, how's that, Mr. Smarty-Pants?

Smarty-Pants Ed: I say, did you just change my name?

Flirty Ed: Ha ha! Serves you right!

Smarty-Pants Ed: She changed yours too, y'know.

Flirty Ed: AH! I fell so violated...

Chick Ed: Ugh... you're BOTH idiots...

Me: Now...review!


	5. Two heads are NOT better

Me: Ugh... so tired...

Chick Ed: Then get some sleep.

Smarty-pants Ed: Or just get on with the chapter...

Me: 'Kay...

(Quick Note: Again, sorry for bad grammar, didn't have spell check again.)

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Disclaimer: Me on own, but I really wish I owned little Ed...but I don't...

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"Now, can you all please calm down and act like civilized human beings?" asked the new Ed once the five people had exited the bar. Winry turned to him sharply and glared.

"Human beings?" she demanded, storming up to him. "Just what the hell are you?" she screamed, spraying spit in his face. The new Ed took out a handkerchief and wiped away the saliva.

"Please," he began seriously. "Please refrain from such vulgar behavior."

"Vulgar?" growled Winry, attempting to grab the boy's collar, but luckily, Al caught her arm and held her back before she could tear the boy to pieces.

"_Phweet phew!_" whistled one of the other Eds. Winry looked over at him and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Man," he cooed, taking a good long look at Edwina. "I'm CUTE." Winry then threw a wrench at him, smacking his head quite painfully. Where did she get that wrench, you ask? Nobody knows... "OWE!" yelled Flirty Ed. "Whaddya do THAT for?"

"Just NO." stated Winry, completely disgusted.

"Please," begged Eddie, "don't ever, ever look at me again." she stared at Flirty Ed a moment to make sure he had gotten the message. "Comprende?" she asked. He sighed, chuckled, and then took her hand into his own.

"My sweet little bon-bon," he cooed, "What stands in our way of being together? Nothing! That's what. Why don't you and I go away--way far away--to where no one can find us?" Eddie stood blushing, not able to find the right words.

"Oh please," snorted smarty-pants Ed. "I must be out of my mind if I ever were to fall for a cheap pick-up line like that."

"He's not asking YOU, Mr. Smarty-Pants," pouted Edwina. "He's clearly hitting on ME."

"And I'm clearly about to puke." whispered Winry, stumbling away.

"Umm...Niisan? And Neesan?" asked Al timidly, approaching the three. "Do any of you know what exactly is going on?"

Edwina shook her head. "No, last thing I remember before these two showed up is fighting Scar."

"And you remember being at girl at that point?" she nodded. "How strange...What about you, umm..."started Al, turning to the ultra-flirty boy.

The Ed chuckled, magically pulling out a rose and holding it to his mouth. "Please," he began seductively, "call me...Eduardo!"

"Is that honestly what you remember being called?" asked Winry, more sure that she was dead now more than ever.

Eduardo laughed. "No...But since there are three of us, I might as well have my own name--and Eduardo just sounded really cool!" Winry sighed heavily, just about ready to pass out from stress. "And the last thing I remember," he said, finally getting around to the question, "is, like my lovely counter part here, fighting Scar. Though I must admit, it does seem much easier to get my feelings across now."

"By feelings do you mean over-active male hormones?" asked Winry sarcastically. "Please, don't," she continued when Eduardo opened his mouth to say something, "it was rhetorical."

The remaining Ed huffed. "And I suppose that none of you are going to ask about me? I can't blame you really, I DO have the most extensive knowledge of any of you; you all probably don't want to bother me with such trivial questions."

"Can somebody PLEASE shut this guy up?" asked Winry, tired of listening to his too-good-for-you drawl. "He's giving me a headache."

"You think YOU'VE got problems?" asked a dark voice from behind her; Winry practically jumped out of her skin. "Try living my life sometime--you won't ever want to smile again."

"What the hell?" screamed Winry. "How many of you are there?"

"If you'd just let me explain--" started Smarty-Pants, but of course no one was listening.

"How many...?" asked the new Ed. "How many of me? Hmm...well let me think, if I'm anything like a cat, I've already used up my nine lives, so we all can't be ghosts. And if we're all clones, then that wouldn't make any sense--they're not scared enough."

"..." Winry stared at him, her heart feeling like it was ready to die. "Wow..." she sighed, "that's really depressing..."

"You don't know the have of it..."

"Ooh--hogwash!" cheered flirty Ed. "Why so down and glum? It's a beautiful day--let's go pick up some girls!" again, a wrench of unknown origin smacked him in the head. "Owe! Never mind..."

"Will you please just listen to what I have to sa--" And again, Mr. Smarty-pants was cut off before he could finish. But this time, it wasn't because no one was listening: this time, it was because of a very loud, very pissed scream.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!"

"What was that?" shrieked Eddie, hugging onto flirty Ed tightly out of fear.

"A monster about to come and devour us all, thus ending our meaningless existence?" asked the new Ed.

"You ARE depressing." stated Winry, turning away from him. "But that's not it. I'd recognize that yell anywhere. It's precisely the one you give when--"

"KEEP THAT MILK AWAY FROM MEEEEE!" it screamed.

"Exactly," whispered Winry, dashing off towards the source.

"Wait for us!" called Al, chasing after her, but still making sure that all his siblings were with them.

"Ew! Ew! Ew!" cried the voice again.

"Hey, Buddy, calm down!" urged a different voice. "It's only a little milk!"

"IT'S DISGUSTING!"

"Shut up...I'm trying to sleep..._yawwwnnnnn_..."

Winry stopped, right before entering the new bar that she had heard Ed from. _'That tired voice...'_ she thought,_ 'it...it can't be...'_ She slowly entered the bar to see an Ed turning tables over, still throwing his hissy-fit.

"GRAGH!" shouted the angry Ed again.

And again, the small voice nagged at him. "Qui...quiet..._Zzzzzzz_..."

Winry turned, very slowly, given, to the owner of the small voice. And there, on the other side of the room, sitting at an untouched table with his head down, was a little Ed. Not like short-little, like little-little. As in (as Winry could clearly see) a boy so young that he still had his right arm. "E...Ed...?" she asked softly. The one tearing up the place was shouting too loud to hear her, but the one on the other side of the room gave a small twitch. "Ed..." she repeated. The boy slowly lifted his head and turned sleepy eyes to her. Winry gasped. It WAS Ed. _'But...but how?' _she thought, once more thinking she was dead. _'It's impossible!'_

"Hi...Win...ry..._zzzzzz_..." whispered the small boy before drifting back to sleep.

Al looked over at the boy and touched Winry's shoulder to get her attention. "Now _I_ think I'm dead..." he whispered, purely and truly meaning what he said.

"I just hope it's not Ed who is..." whispered Winry back.

* * *

Smarty-pants Ed: That's really how you're going to end it? Leave us hanging why don't you?

Me: Shut up, yous! (smacks with rolled up newspaper) This took me several days to write!

Angry Ed: _How?_

Me: I did this in several study halls, okay? And the school's computers are crap. The keys don't work right.

Flirty Ed: IS that why you're always apologizing for misspellings?

Me: Yes. And BTW, if this chapter seems short, tuff. Looking at in the documents section of my profile makes it seem longer.

S.P. Ed: Are these things EVER gonna get longer?

Me: Once I'm done introducing all the Eds--yes.

Chick Ed: That means there's only one left, right?

Me: Yep. And I'm apologizing now for the last one.

Flirty Ed: Why?

Me: ...

Little Ed: Be...cause she...des...troyed...him..._Zzzzzzzzz_...

Me: Awwww! Ain't he cute?

Ed(s): ... What does he mean, you DESTROYED him?

Me: Ummmm...Review! (runs away)

Angry Ed: Get back here!


	6. Fear the number seven

Angry Ed: Why the hell did this take so long, bitch?

Me: (smacks angry Ed on head with rolled up newspaper) You're not allowed to cuss!

Angry Ed: Says you f--k a--.

Me: (takes out baseball bat and bashes his head in) No cussing!

Little Ed: Ha... (yawwwwn)...ha...

(A/N: This took so long to post because 1. it's longer than the other chapters. 2. I proof read it. And 3. I was working on an English project over the weekend. Sorry! But it's up now so--YAY!)

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Disclaimer: Me no own, sadly. But, I if did--I'd have a freaking lot more money than I do now.

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**Chapter 6: Fear the number seven**

"How can this be?" asked Winry, still stunned by the appearance of the small boy. Sure, she could deal with four extra Eds, plus a girl version. But a little kid? This is just too much.

"GRAHHHHHH!" screamed the other new Ed, pulling Winry away from her thoughts.

"Someone do something!" cried the smarty-pants Ed, cowering behind a table, deathly afraid of his stronger counter-part.

"Are you kidding?" yelled what Winry assumed to be the flirty Ed. "He could bash my beautiful face in!" he turned to Edwina. "You--go calm him down!"

She tsk-ed, turning away. "Chivalry IS dead..." she muttered.

"Fine," muttered the mega-depressed Ed, "I'll handle this." He slowly walked up to the rampaging shrimp and began to speak in his normal, dark, low voice. The other Ed was screaming too loud for anyone to hear what the dark one was saying. But after a moment, the angry Ed dropped the chair that he was about to throw and flopped down in it; face drained of all color. "...And do you really want that to happen?" finished Emo Ed. The one in the chair shook his head, near to fainting.

"Jeez," sighed Eddie, "What'd you say to him?"

Emo Ed turned around and said monotonously "just what's on my mind every single day."

"But that means that it should be on my mind too. But I have absolutely no idea what you were talking about!" shouted Eddie.

"Its better that way," mumbled Emo Ed, walking away.

"My day," began Winry, stumbling over to an empty chair, "just can't get any worse..." she flopped down into the chair and sighed. She looked up to see that all the Eds (except for the kid, who was still asleep) were staring at her. "W-what?" she asked, flustered. Of course, they each had their own answer. Like angry Ed was about to scream something up until Emo Ed shot him a very icy glare. Flirty Ed attempted to woo Winry, but was dragged away by Edwina by the ear. All that left was Mr. Smarty-Pants, and sadly, there was no one to stop him.

"Winry," he began, approaching her. "Could you please be so kind as to listen to my theory as to why there are some many of me now?" she stared at him, completely oblivious as to what he had just said. Ed scowled. "Helloooo?" he asked waving his hand in her face. "Are you even listening?"

"I'm hungry." came the tiny voice of little Ed, who had just randomly woken up and started to walk out of the bar. "Yummys for my tummy..." he murmured.

Winry stared at after him, thoroughly creeped out. _'Something is DEFINANTLY wrong with me...'_ She shook her head, just realizing that she was letting a little kid walk out into the crowded streets of a big city all by himself. Yeah, it was Ed--but little Ed! No matter how you look at it, he needed to be chaperoned! Winry dashed after him, but quickly lost him in the crowd. "Ed!" she called, trying to see over the peoples' heads. The other five Eds from the bar came running out at her call.

"What is it?" they cried.

"Ugh, not you..." muttered Winry, wishing that if she wasn't dead, that she'd hurry up and die--this is just too stressful.

"Hey," said Al, coming out after his siblings. "Where's ototochan (A/N: little brother)?" Winry froze.

_'Stop getting side tracked!'_ she screamed at herself. "I was wondering the same thing."

"He's over there." stated Edwina, pointing over to an open-air cafe.

Winry looked over to the cafe, and by goodness, there he was! '_Sitting right there next to...that...nooooooooooo...! It can't be, it just can't!'_ she told her self. The group slowly made their way to the cafe, and oh, did Winry want to die more than ever now.

Little Ed turned around and smiled at them and waved. "Hey," he said sleepily with a biscuit dangling out of his mouth. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking at Winry. The girl stood frozen, eyes glued to the (let's just say 'larger') boy sitting next to him. The boy turned around and smiled at the group; most of the Eds were about to pass out from the sight.

Smarty-Pants Ed made a horrible face and groaned in disgust. "They call me Chibi-chan?" he asked the new Ed sitting by Little Ed. "You're more like Chubby-chan." The Ed put down his fork and stood up, sizing up to Smarty-Pants Ed (and for some reason, he was slightly shorter) with a scowl on his face.

"What did you call me?" he asked darkly, eyes twitching.

"Chubby-chan," repeated the one with glasses, clicking his teeth at his other self.

"I dare you to say that again, Four Eyes!" shouted the new Ed, drawing back his right arm.

"Do you actually plan on fighting me, Lardo?" taunted the smart one, also raising his fist in preparation for attack.

"ENOUGH!" screamed Winry stepping between the two. "If you two are really the same person, then get along and act like it!"

"He started it," grumbled chubby Ed, crossing his arms.

Smart Ed snorted and turned away. "I may have started the fight, but you are the one that started eating."

"JUST WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

"Exactly what it sounds like, fat-ass!"

"STOP!" shouted Winry, bringing out her wrench of doom and smacking the two. "QUIT. MAKING. A. SCENE!-!-!" She snatched up their collars and began to drag them off.

"Hey," called a man from behind the counter of the cafe. "Are you guys gonna pay for that?" Winry stopped and turned. "Don't dine and dash or I'll call the cops!"

"Don't...give him...anything..." mumbled Smart Ed weakly. Winry sighed and dropped the boys, pulling out her wallet.

X  
(night time!)

"Honestly," sighed Winry, flopping down backwards onto the bed of their hotel room. "Why is this all happening?" she moaned, covering her face with her hands.

"I'm telling you, if you'd just let me explain--" began Mr. Smarty-Pants.

"Cram it, four eyes." commanded the seventh Ed; smart Ed stuck his tongue out in return.

"Both of you," sighed Winry exhaustedly, "just...shut...up..." She quickly lowered her hands and craned her neck backwards, startled by someone behind her.

"You know," began Flirty Ed, setting his hands down on her shoulders. "A little massage would cure everything--make your problems melt away. So take of your shirt an--" Winry slapped him and scooted off the bed and as far away from him as she could in the tiny room. "What'd I say?" he asked innocently.

"Don't EVER try that again!" she commanded, blushing furiously.

"So sleepy..." muttered little Ed, climbing up onto the bed.

"Hey," shouted Flirty Ed, kicking at his smaller doppelganger. "Get out! This is mine and Winry's bed! Go sleep on the couch or somethin'!" And again, that magical wrench made painful contact with the boy's head.

"WHAT did I just tell you?" screamed Winry. She pointed to the couch and yelled "YOU--sleep on that!"

"But--!" started the flirtatious boy, highly offended that she refused to share a bed with him.

"NO!" she screamed, finger shaking at the cold, dark, lonely couch.

"What about HIM then?" he screamed, pointing to little Ed.

Winry paused, thinking, then smirked evilly, saying in a sly tone "he IS just a little kid, so I don't see any harm in sharing a bed with HIM."

Flirty Ed gawked at her. "But--but--but--! WHY?-!-?-!" Winry threw her wrench at him again.

"Because," she huffed, "HE'S not a hormonal freak like you!"

Flirty Ed stopped dead, arms hanging limply at his sides. _'H-hormonal freak?-!'_ he thought angrily. He got two ideas. A: he could make some smart ass come back, but that would probably result in another wrench-related injury. B: He could use his newly trademarked puppy-dog face to win her over. ... Or C: He could just go to the couch and avoid any pain what-so-ever. He chose the latter. He sighed and hopped off the bed, sulking right over to the couch, where, of course, he had to battle the other hims for it.

That night was hell, and the following morning just got worse. In fact, this whole damn incident been one gigantic fu--

X

X

X

"Alright, alright," sighed Mustang. "I get the point! But tell me, how did it take you six days to get from that city to here in Central? You could walk between the two in less than an hour!"

Winry bowed her head as she approached the Colonel's desk. She slammed her hands down, got up into his face, and said very darkly "you know how hard it is to deal with ONE Ed, right? Well try handling SEVEN of him! Then we'll see how long it takes to get from point A to point B! GOT IT?" Mustang nodded, cowering under Winry's rage.

"Ooookay, that's enough!" stated Flirty Ed, pushing Winry and Mustang apart. "That's just a little too close for comfort." Winry grabbed his hand and glared at him.

"THAT was too close for comfort?" she demanded, squeezing his hand so hard it was near to breaking. "Then what category, may I ask, did three nights ago fall under?" Mustang grinned at the two, evil thoughts running through his mind.

"And just what happened three nights ago, may I ask?" heinquired slyly.

"NOTHING." growled Winry, shooting a nasty glare at him. The colonel nodded, slumping down in his chair, deathly afraid of the girl.

"Now, Colonel," began Smarty-Pants Ed, approaching the desk. "Will YOU please listen to my explanation for all of this? It is imperative if not essential that a superior officer such as yourself be informed and..._blah blah-blah blah-blah..._" Mr. Smarty-pants once again began to drone on and on, and again, no one cared enough to listen.

"So, Colonel," began Hawkeye uneasily. "What are we going to do with all these...Eds?"

"I can think of one thing we can do, baby..." cooed flirty Ed suggestively. The lieutenant blanched and quickly drew her gun, taking a shot at Ed. "HEY!" he screamed as the bullet ricocheted off his metal shoulder. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Who isn't?" asked Emo Ed darkly. Ooh...mood killer, much?

"Colonel!" called Lieutenant Ross, busting into the room. "There's an urgent call from--uhh..." she glanced around the room, completely forgetting her 'urgent news'."W-what's going on here?" she asked, pointing to all the Eds. Flirty Ed came running up to her, taking her hands into his own.

"My dear," he sighed, pulling out another magical rose. "Have you ever been told how lovely you look in this light? I'm sure if we were to step outside, your radiance would glow so brightly that the sun itself would be jealous!" The lieutenant turned bright red.

"Oh--uh--Really? My mother used to say I had a wonderful complexion, but no man has ever told me that before!" she squeaked dreamily.

"But..." whimpered Balsh poking out from behind Ross."I tell you that everyday..."

Ed put his arm around Ross and dipped her, both completely ignoring the other man. And THAT'S when yet another wrench came flying at him. "OWE!" screamed Ed, dropping the lieutenant. "Whaddya do that for?" he demanded.

Winry pulled out another wrench and pounded it over an open palm menacingly. "If you don't know then I suggest that you get a new automail mechanic." she whispered darkly.

Flirty Ed cocked his head. "Now why would I wanna do that?" Winry raised her arm, preparing to throw the wrench, but Al caught her just in time and gently pulled the arm back down.

"Now, now," he laughed nervously, trying to sooth the girl. "Let's not cause anymore major injuries, shall we?"

"We shall." stated Mr. Smarty-pants, stepping into the middle of the room. "Now will you please--"

"HEY!" shouted Hughes, bursting into the room. "I just heard! WOW! Seven of you, eh? And look! A girl! But she's still not as cute as my little Elycia!" As Hughes began another rant about his adorable daughter, Smart Ed stood there, twitching and seething, just about to go insane if no one listened to him.

"YOU!" shouted Hughes, pointing over to girl Ed. "How'd you like to baby-sit my little Elycia sometime? I'd ask another Ed, but I don't trust him--he might elope with her she's so cute!"

"How much would I get paid?"

"SHUT UP!-!" screamed smart Ed, fed up with being surrounded by 'buffoons of a lower intelligence status'. "No one cares about your stupid daughter!" he cried, snatching away the picture of the girl. "If any of you have even a few brain cells left--you'll listen to what I have to say!" Once he had finished,he opened his eyes and looked around the room to find that everyone was staring at him--and not too kindly either.

"You twit," came a dark voice after a moment. "Do you really think that yelling will solve all of your problems? I suppose that if you do, then may I ask who sir is the real dim-wit here? Surely I tell you, it is neither I, nor anyone of these fine people, officers or otherwise. If you actually wish to perceive the true culprit of lacking brain cells, then might I suggest that you go look in a mirror?" Smarty-pants Ed stared at the speaker, mouth agape and glasses dangling off the tip of his nose. The speaker lifted an eye brow, suppressing a smug smile. "Does it really surprise you so much that one such emotionally depressed as I could challenge your intellect?" Smarty-pants Ed nodded mindlessly like a little kid who was being scolded.

_'When,'_ thought Winry, astonished, _'when did Emo Ed get so smart?'_

* * *

Al: I smell a half-assed ending! 

Me: So do the readers!

Smarty-Pants Ed: Then why did you write it?

Me: Because this chapter is long enough as it is and I thought that it needed to be wrapped up.

Smarty-Pants Ed: And what a fine job you did at that.

Emo Ed: Shall I explain to you in great depths what I told our more violent self? Do you really want to know the horrors of pancakes?

Smarty-Pants Ed: Oh puh-lease...What could be so bad about--

Emo Ed: (whisper whisper)

Smarty-Pants Ed: **_H_**elenistis**_F_**udge**_C_**akes! No wonder you're so depressed all the time!

Chick Ed: Whaddya say? Whaddya say?

Emo Ed: You honestly don't want to know. (creepy glare)

Chick Ed: O-okay...

Emo Ed: Now...review! (creepy glare)


	7. Bored

Mr. SP: YAAAAYYYY!

Winry: What are you so happy about?

Mr. SP: I finally get to say my explanation this chapter!

Winry: (groans…)

Mr. SP: Don't worry—you're not around to hear it.

Winry: YAAAAYYYY! Stress free chappie for meeeee!

Emo Ed: One problem.

Mr. SP: What?

Emo Ed: I get to do a little bit of explaining, not you.

Mr. SP: Oh, for the love of--

* * *

Disclaimer: Chaaaaaaaa…IEEEEEEEEEE! Whaaaaa!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Bored **

"I...am...sooooooooo bored!" screamed Flirty Ed later that night. After their little outburst and multiple attempts to pick up any female officers, the Colonel had ordered all the Eds to remain in their quarters until further notice. That was six hours ago, and as everyone knows, Ed's attention span isn't the greatest.

"Then find something to do, Dim Wit." stated Smarty-Pants Ed, not even looking up from his book.

"Easy for you to say, you're so boring you always have something to do!"

"What do you mean 'boring'?" demanded the boy, finally taking his eyes off the thick pages.

"Ooh--I dunno, maybe that there's just no way in hell that you and me can be the same person!"

"Just shut up," came the strained voice of angry Ed. "You're not the only one who's bored out of his mind." The only way that this Ed had seemed to keep himself occupied was by constantly tapping his metal fingers one a coffee table, which didn't really improve smart Ed's mood.

"Why don't you all shut up?" squeaked Edwina, ruffling her hair. "It's bad enough that I have to stay in the same room as all you boys!"

"Whaddya mean all us boys? You're technically one too, you know!" pouted the seventh Ed, nibbling his knuckles because of the lack of food for the past six hours.

"Ew," gagged Edwina, "no WAY am I related to you!"

"Don't you get it? You ARE me!"

" NO WAY!"

"Stop it!" cried angry Ed, finally at the end of his patience. "Just all of you shut up!"

The room went into an awkward silence and after a moment, little Ed spoke up in his quiet voice. "Why don't we get along?" he asked, too awake to fall asleep, but too depressed by the rain outside to stay alert. "I mean...isn't it better to hear all this in our head instead of dragging everyone else into it?"

"I don't..." began Edwina slowly after a moment. "I don't want to go back. I like being able to say what I think. I like it that everyone knows the real me now."

"Yeah..." said angry Ed quietly, seemingly calmed down. "I'm glad that I don't have to bottle up all the time. This way, I don't have to make Al and Winry worry about me."

"I think you all should consider everything before making a decision on how you want all of us to live." They all turned to Emo Ed, who had stood up and moved to the center of the group. "I know... I know that I can only remember the bad things. Like, you," he pointed to little Ed, "you don't remember the day we tried to bring mom back, do you? To you, it's like she's still waiting at home for us, isn't it?" the child nodded sadly, not wanting to know what his older self was saying, making it sound like mom _wasn't _waiting at home for him. "Because for you," continued Emo Ed, "it hasn't happened yet. I mean, we all know who people are, but it's just certain things..." he turned to Flirty Ed. "Like you. You have it the best, don't you? Tell me; am I correct in thinking that you only remember the good things? Like when we and Al did our first alchemy for Winry? I bet you don't remember how that turned out, do you?" the boy turned away, confirming everything that had just been said without a word.

"How do we go back?" asked smart Ed, gazing determinedly at his darker self. "Without all these missing memories you keep blabbing about, how am I supposed to complete my calculations? What if I'm missing something vital? It could mean losing Al all together instead of getting his body back!"

"I don't want to!" cried Edwina, standing up, frightened. "I don't ever want to go back to that dark place--not ever!"

"Who cares what you want?" yelled smart Ed. "You're not even a real part of us! Why you even exist as you do is beyond me!"

Edwina's face scrunched up as she held back tears as best she could. "I'm not going back!" she choked out right before swinging the door open and dashing passed the two officers that had been standing guard.

"Stupid girl," muttered smart Ed under his breath.

"You're awful." spat the seventh Ed at the boy, chasing after Edwina.

"...Why do you want to be whole so desperately?"' asked flirty Ed quietly. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Why?" stated smart Ed darkly. "I'll tell you why, because if we're not whole, then we can get our limbs back. And if we can't get our limbs back, then we can't fix Al. And if we can't fix Al--"

"We can't live normally..."

"Exactly."

"But why...why do you have to be such a jerk about it? Maybe there isn't anything we can do!" shouted flirty Ed, also beginning to lose his temper with his smarter self. "Maybe it's just like teacher said--that we're making another mistake by trying to correct our last one! Why can't we just be content with our lives now? Why can't we live with the people we love and just forget about all of this?"

"Because that's not what we promised!" screamed the boy with glasses. "That day--that day we swore we'd get everything back to normal!"

"What day?" shrieked flirty Ed.

"That day! The..." he stopped. "It...it was..."

"3 October 10." came emo Ed's dark voice. "Check your watch--it's there."

"How--"

"It's an issue of memory." he said dully. "Now, I suggest that you two starting getting along, _if_ you want to get back to normal, that is."

"What do you mean?" hissed smart Ed. His eyes widened and he shot his gaze over to flirty Ed. "YOU know how to return to normal?" he demanded.

"It's a memory issue." he stated sarcastically. "So I suggest that you start figuring it out on your own, 'cuz I don't think any of us that know are going to help you." With that, he marched out of the room.

"Do you know?" asked smart to emo after a moment.

"...Yes. But as long as I hold these memories, I don't wish to burden anyone else with them. So I too want to stay like this." Smart Ed scowled and turned away, muttering something less than kind about his other selves. "But," started Emo Ed, drawing the other boy's attention back to him once more, "I don't think our love-lust half can stay how he wants forever. Due to his nature, he'll betray himself one of these days..."

Smart Ed watched as Emo took the child's hand and left with him, probably to find something for the small boy to do.

"I'll help you," came the strained voice of angry Ed, the only other person remaining in the room.

Mr. Smarty-Pants raised an eyebrow at him, asking "I thought you liked it this way?"

The boy smiled weakly, gazing down at his trembling hand. "I do, but with the way I am...I'll cave sooner than later."

"So why help me now?"

Angry Ed looked up at the other and gave a disgusted smile. "I don't think I could calm down enough to actually tell you even if I wanted to. I'm just saying that when my time comes, I won't hold back." and then he too exited the room.

There was a crack of thunder outside as a flash of lightning illuminated the room momentarily. The lights flickered and smart Ed could hear the rain falling even faster. "Fine..." he muttered. "Then I'll do this on my own--no matter what it takes."

* * *

Al: ...That was kinda creepy.

Mr. SP: I'm just a creepy guy.

Emo Ed: Pancakes.

Mr. SP: NOT THAT CREEPY!-! NOT THAT CREEPY!-! (whimpers)

Winry: I thought this was supposed to be a stress-free chapter for me?

Me: Never.

Scar: Review!

Others: ...

Scar: What?

Flirty Ed: Why are you here?

Scar: (laughs maniacally) 'Cuz you and me gots a score to settle next chapter!

Flirty Ed: Whole-me or Me-me?

Scar: You-you.

Flirty Ed: SAVE ME!-!-!

Al: Don't worry Niisan, I--

Scar: Look at yourself. (Al does so and gasps) Mm-hmm…Now, remember things that haven't happened yet. (Al--does so and scowls) Now whaddya wanna do?

Al: Hurt Niisan!

Scar: There 'ya go.

Flirty Ed: Why do people hate me?


	8. Paying attention

Me: (very scared look on face)

Al: What's wrong with you?

Me: Do you know what 'incest' means?

Al: No.

Me: Then look it up in the dictionary when I'm done talking. But anyway, I have this author on alert (though they never seem to update the story I want) and they keep posting more and more chapters of a collection of ficlets that they have.

Al: What's your point?

Me: I'm getting to it. Anyway--I finally get fed up with the ficlet story and decided to read the first chapter.

Al: Aaaaannnnndddddd?

Me: And... (looks away) Now, it was rated teen so there was nothing horribly descriptive--

Al: Just get on with it!

Me: (turns away so that not facing Al at all) Some think it right, but let me just say...Al, I'm sorry, but Ed belongs to Winry.

Al: Huh?

* * *

Disclaimer: It is better to have loved and not owned the rights, than to have never drooled over a hot anime guy at all...

* * *

**Chapter 8: Paying Attention**

Flirty Ed sighed and slumped back against the wall. "What does that smart guy know anyway? If he doesn't already know, then how does he expect to fix this?" he sighed again and plopped down on the floor in the middle of the hallway. "I don't want to go back... If I do, I might never be able to tell her..."

"Tell who what?" asked a voice from above him. Ed looked up and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"L-l-lieutenant Hawkeye, wh-what're you doing here?" he squeaked, quickly rising to his feet.

"It's a hallway, Edward," said the woman, slightly amused by the boy. "It's used for walking, not moping."

Ed blew out his cheeks and crossed his arms. "I wasn't moping!" he huffed. The lieutenant smiled at him.

"Oh," she said suddenly, just as the boy opened his mouth to say one of his lame pick-up lines. "Have you seen Miss Rockbell?"

Ed stopped; he felt the warmth from his body waver for a second at the words. "Isn't she in her room?" he asked quietly.

Hawkeye shook her head. "No. I went to go see her a minute ago but she wasn't there. I figured that she went to your room."

"I'm probably the last person she wants to see right now." muttered Ed. Hawkeye gave him a strange look and he shook his head. "Never mind--I'll go look for her!" he chirped with a smile. He walked passed Riza and once he had rounded the corner, he broke into a run. He dashed back to the room that he had been stuck in for the past six hours, but no one was there, not even the guards. More than likely they had wandered off to find his other selves. Sheesh, Mustang is going to be pretty pissed when he finds out that all the Eds were out running amuck.

Ed quickly left the room and ran over to Winry's, just to make sure she wasn't there. This room was also empty. Fear welled up inside him as he ran off once more, scouring the entire complex for her. After a few minutes, as he was running passed a window, a streak of lightning illuminated the windows, making a long shadow from outside flash across the hall. Ed stopped, turned around, and ran to the door and out under the hammock area close to the building. And there she was. Just standing there, watching the rain. Ed couldn't believe it. After all that searching, she had been out here the whole time? He felt the need to scream. Just yell at her for making him worry so much. But all that came out was "Winry!"

The girl turned to him and forced back a smile. "Hey, umm...which one are you?"

All of Ed's angry melted away just then as he smiled at her. "Just...call me #1."

"Oh," groaned Winry, turning her gaze back to the rain. "You're the really flirty one, aren't you?"

Ed grinned and skipped up to stand in front of her. "And what if I am?" he asked playfully.

"Then I'm going back inside." she stated, pushing herself of the wall and walking towards the door.

"Just 'cuz I'm out here?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

The girl stopped and thought about it for a moment. She sighed and came back to Ed, slumping down into a seated position against the wall. "I'll stay," she murmured. "But you better keep your mouth shout." she ordered.

Ed smiled and sat down next to her. "Not a word," he whispered.

A few minutes passed before either of them spoke. In all honesty, Winry hadn't expected him to stay quiet so quite for so long. So finally, she just said "Ed?"

The boy turned to her and smiled. "What is it?" he asked sweetly.

Winry felt heat fill her cheeks as she whipped around to look the other way. "Nothing," she squeaked quickly. "I was just-uh-um-uh--"

"Saying my name?"

"Yeah!" she took a moment to think about what she had just said. "I mean--no." she corrected herself. "'Cuz y'know...it's not really _your_ name..."

"Right," he said firmly. "Not _my_ name..."

Winry squirmed in her position, suddenly very uncomfortable. "Soo... What am I supposed to call you then? If Ed's not your name, I mean."

"I dunno," he said quietly, glancing over at her. He stared at her for a minute, thankful that she didn't notice his wandering gaze. His shook his head roughly. _'NO!'_ he told himself harshly. _'If I wanna stay like this, then I have to quite acting so immature!' _He sighed and took his eyes off Winry, turning away. His body ached at the lack of naughty thoughts running through his mind and he cursed himself for it. He didn't try to be lecherous; it just sort of...was his nature. At least when he was like this, anyway. _'What's the point in me being separated like this if when I do what I want to, I'll just go back to normal? But, even so...'_

"Ed?" asked Winry, pulling him back to reality. "Is something wrong?" He looked back over at her and smiled weakly.

_'But even so, I have to at least tell her...' _"Winry," he began sadly.

There was a flash of lightning and a long, dark shadow fell over the two. Before they could even look up to see what it was, the figure's large hands came plummeting towards them and wrapped around Winry's arm. She tried to scream, but the crack of thunder that followed the light muffled her cry. Another flash of lightning illuminated the night sky just as Ed began to run after the figure. The light momentarily blinded him and once he regained his sight, the two were gone.

He stared down the dark street, trying to see where they'd gone, but it was useless. The rain fell hard and fast, his heart skipping every other beat. Ed tried to think rationally, but the panic of missing Winry kept his mind fluttering. When he attempted to run, he found that his legs refused to budge, so he did the only thing his stubborn body would allow. He screamed.

"WINRY!-!" he called, but this too, was of no help. The rain prevented his cry from going too far; there wasn't even an echo from the alley. _'Wait--that's it! The alley!'_ It didn't matter how much rain there was, if the assailant had fled down the street, Ed would have still been able to see them. But the alley is too dark in overcast weather--no wonder he couldn't find where they had gone. _'That must mean that they can't be too far ahead!'_ Finally, Ed's legs kicked into gear and led him speeding across the street and into the dark alley.

He didn't stop. Not even when the dark passage ended and spit him out into another street, he just kept going. Forward was all he could think, all his legs would do. And that's when he saw it, just a little ways ahead of him--a tall dark figure with the silhouette of a young girl hung over its shoulder. As he passed into another back street, Ed clapped his hands together and then pressed them up against a wall, creating a tall brick barrier at the other end of the alley. The figure he had been pursuing stopped and turned around, another streak of lightning revealing his face.

Scar.

"What the hell do you want with her, you bastard?" screamed Ed, turning his right arm into a blade.

The older man smirked and dropped Winry. "You." he said simply. Scar charged at Ed, marked arm raised over his head, ready to strike. Ed did the same, wanting to rip the man apart.

"Ed!" cried Winry. Ed, momentarily distracted by the girl's call of concern, missed a step in his running and fell forward, just as Scar's hand came swooping down for him. He landed face first painfully on the ground, but Scar hadn't touched him. Ed quickly got back to his feet and turned and charged for the other man again. But this time he wasn't so lucky.

Scar spun around just as Ed began to swing his blade. He caught the chibi boy with his marked arm and slammed him against the wall of the alley, pinning him.

"Your life ends here, Edward Elric." threatened the man in his deep voice. His arm glowed with alchemy and the light flew into Ed, tearing him apart from the inside.

Ed clenched his teeth, trying his best not to scream in agony. But it wasn't enough. There force of Scar's hand closed tightly over his neck, crushing his left arm, and the alchemy coursing through his body, Ed didn't think he could take much more.

"Edward!" screamed Winry. She sat on the ground several feet away, grasping her ankle, unable to move.

Just as Ed's vision began to become blurry, a pure white light filled his eyes and there was a call from an unknown, yet somehow familiar, voice. "Put your hands where I can see them!--I've got you cornered!" _'Oh great...' _Thought Ed dismally, still being choked by Scar._ 'The military, how much more useless can they get?'_

But for some reason, at the order of the state alchemist, Scar dropped his hold on Edward, letting him fall to the ground, to cough up a storm. "You," whispered the Ishbalan, "how did you..."

"It can't be..." muttered the alchemist in a hallow voice, acting as though he had just seen a ghost. He shook his head and raised his gloved hand at Scar threateningly. "I don't know what stupid trick you're trying to play, but you're under arrested on accounts of murder!"

Scar spat on the ground, giving the state officer a rebellious, disgusted look. "Whatever," he mumbled, "I already got what I came for." With that, he dashed away towards the brick wall Ed had created, breaking through it with his marked arm. The state alchemist tried to run after him, but he was too late. Scar had escaped.

Back in the alley, Winry, still holding her ankle, leaned over as far as she could, trying to scoot closer to Ed. "Hey," she whispered quietly, reaching out a trembling hand to the boy. "Are you alright, Ed?"

Ed stayed silent; he sat slumped against the wall of the alley, hand covering his mouth to catch the bits of blood that he has hacking out. When his coughing fit subsided, he stared down at his hand solemnly; his white glove dyed red.

"Ed?" whispered the girl again. He finally glanced over at her, seeing that she had twisted her ankle quite painfully. He frowned. "Are you alright?" she repeated.

"What..." he began slowly, "what a stupid question..." he mumbled. Ed swallowed hard as he tried to stand up, but his legs gave out and he came crashing back to the ground.

"Edward!" cried Winry, practically falling over as she attempted to rush to his side.

"I'm fine, but..." Winry retracted her hand as she watched Ed push back against the wall to act as a crutch to help him stand up. He succeeded in getting to his feet, but he appeared not to be able to walk. He looked down at his left shoulder and grimaced. He took his left arm into his metal hand firmly and jammed his eyes shut. He yanked his arm downward with a sickening crack--it had been dislocated. Winry winced at the sound, wanting to gag. But after a moment, she opened her eyes again to see Ed staring down at her. A few crystalline tears slipped down his cheeks as he wobbled over to the girl. "But I..." he continued slowly, not quite meeting her eyes. He fell to his knees in front Winry, finally raising his gaze enough to look her in the eye. "I--" he choked, biting his bottom lip. "I'm sorry!" he cried, throwing himself upon her. He wrapped his arms around her middle tightly, pulling her into a loving embrace with a force that made her fall flat on her back.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" she asked frantically. Winry's cheeks turned bight red as she tried to pry the boy of off her. _'What's gotten into him?'_ she asked herself. _'I know this is his flirty version--but this is just ridiculous!'_ "Hey--come on--! Get off me!" she squeaked, still completely flustered.

Ed hesitantly loosened his grip, letting the girl sit up, making sure that he stayed at least an arm's length away. "I'm sorry," he repeated, laughing a little and swiping away his tears. "I just... I should've been paying more attention... I didn't want Scar to hurt you."

Winry's blush darkened and she turned away. "Y-you didn't have to worry--I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself!"

Ed chuckled, still trying to stop crying. "Can you blame me, though?" he asked softly, turning away slightly.

Winry quickly picked up the sadness that hung on his words, and without even thinking, she pulled him close to her, giving him an unexpected hug. "Thank you..." she whispered. "And I am glad that you care so much to be worried..."

Ed turned bright red, stunned by her actions. After a moment, he too wrapped his arms around her, pressing his cheek snugly against her chest. "Winry," he said quietly, barely audible. The girl gave a small 'hm?' of acknowledgement. Ed tightened his hold on her, his face soaking up the warmth of the bare skin that her tank top failed to cover. "I..." he continued, still below a whisper. "I lo--"

"Hey," came a voice from behind the two. Winry turned around, pushing Ed away a little. She gasped up at the person, the state alchemist that had saved them, and tried to bolt up to her feet. But alas, her ankle still remained twisted, so her attempt at standing was nothing more than a feeble wobble, and then her falling back to the ground painfully.

"Winry!" cried Ed, snapping out of his little daze and quickly rising to his feet to catch her. He looked up at the other alchemist, and he too, gasped. "No way..." he muttered in total shock.

The young boy smiled at Ed and said "hello, Niisan" before punching his lights out.

* * *

Al: Yay? 

Me: Not Yay.

Al: Not Yay?

Me: No.

Roy: What just happened?

Riza: Are you referring to Scar or Al?

Roy: Both.

Scar: For moi, you'll have to wait a chapter.

Me: Or two.

Al: Or three, or four, or--

Me: They get the idea.

Al: Sorry.

Roy: So what about Al?

Me: Mmm…Let's just say that even before the great schism you thought that having one Elric under your employment was hard--this'll send you into a mental break down.

Roy: Yay?

Me: Not Yay.

Roy: Review?

Me: Please.


	9. SoulReaper vs FullMetal

Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Roy: What's wrong with you?

Me: Nothing--NO! Something!

Roy: Guh?

Me: You see, tonight is the last episode of FullMetal Alchemist, and I'm going to try to stay up till midnight to watch it! And then watch it again the next morning because I'll have tapped it!

Roy: So what's the point of staying up for it?

Me: 'Cuz…It's monumental! The last episode ever!

Roy: And this is good how?

Me: IT'S NOT!-! I don't want it to be over! Not now--right when I finally start drooling over Ed and Al as I should! And I don't even know when the movie's coming out either--but at least I'm buying the DVDs now!

Roy: …You're a sad, mentally unstable, little girl, aren't you?

Me: (smacks Roy) Don't call me little! I'm like, two and a half heads taller then Ed!

Roy: _Pfft!_ So am I.

Me: I know.

Al: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-!-!-!-!-!

Roy: What?

Al!-!--?-?--!-!

Me: He's speechless…and scared out of his wits.

Roy: Why?

Me: (points to dictionary in Al's hands)

Roy: Oh…You mean he looked IT up? I mean, IT is so wrong! Just plain disgusting! The fact that it's him and Ed, they're brothers, AND they're both guys--

Me: Oh, you don't think it's disgusting when it's you in his place.

Roy: What?

(Note: I have not yet seen the last episode, though I'm sure that by the time this chapter is posted, I will have. But like so many things in life; I chose to ignore it. So if I get certain facts wrong--it's intentionally… and due to a lack of knowledge. Plus, I'm going to kind of making up my own ending for it in this story, maybe… If I do--I'm pretty sure it won't have spoilers in it.)

* * *

Disclaimer: How is there a chance to own now with only one episode left? It better be good, 'cuz if it's not… (grr…).

* * *

**  
Chapter 9: SoulReaper vs. FullMetal  
**

The young boy smiled at Ed and said "hello, Niisan" before punching his lights out.

Ed lay on the ground a moment, not quite knocked out by the punch, but still too stunned to get up.

"How dare you," mumbled the alchemist, balling his fist once more. "How dare you come back after all this time?-!" he shouted. Ed wedged his eyes open, just enough to stare up at the boy. He was probably 16 or 17, and he wore the same outfit that Ed did. Rain drops lazily dripped from his long bangs that hung over his hazel eyes. "How dare you..." he hissed again.

At last, Ed found the energy to sit up, and before saying a word, he swung his leg around and tripped the other boy. "What the hell is your problem?" he yelled, bolting to his feet. The other boy glared up at Ed and sprung up at him, tackling him at the waist as his response. The two fell to the ground and slid several feet away.

"Why?" screamed the boy, punching Ed in the face. "Why didn't you come back?"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" shouted Ed, trying but failing to block the other boy's assaults. Despite how pitiful it was, Ed let his guard down. The boy had stopped throwing punches and was now only leaning over him with, fat tears dripping down his cheeks and onto Ed.

"I waited..." he choked, still pinning Ed to the ground. "I waited for years...But you--" he stopped, clenched his teeth, and looked away. "You never came back..." he whispered. Ed stared up at him, eyes wide and wavering. The boy looked back down at him and grimaced. "Got to hell, Niisan." and punched him once more, finally knocking Ed out.

X

X

X

"Ugh..." moaned flirty Ed, finally regaining consciousness a little while later. "What happened...?" he groaned, rubbing his head.

"Behold, Sleeping Beauty awakes! How was your nap, Princess?" asked Mr. Smarty-Pants sarcastically. Flirty Ed shot him a very nasty look, though, still not back to his full senses.

"Again, what happened?" he repeated.

"We're not quite sure." stated Emo Ed. "All we know is that Winry's asleep in her room, two guards are lying dead outside the front gates, and--"

"And you got your ass handed to you by our little brother!" chirped little Ed with a broad grin. Flirty Ed stared at him.

"Huh?" he asked stupidly, glancing over at the suit of armor that was standing in the corner of the room.

"It wasn't me!" squeaked Al, waving his hands wildly at his brother.

"Then who--"

"Me." came a voice from the other side of the room. Flirty Ed stopped, not wanting to turn around. Without the rain pounding in his ears, he could clearly tell whose voice that was. At last he turned around, and when he saw his attacker, he fell flat out of the bed.

"It's you!" he screeched, now flailing about on the floor. "Keep away! Keep away!" The other boy huffed, crossing his arms and turning away. Flirty Ed quit acting like a lunatic for a moment to ask "wait, why aren't you trying to kill me anymore?"

"Because once he saw the rest of us, he knew that something was wrong and decided to let us live long enough to get us back together." said Emo Ed flatly.

"But just in case he decides to pull a fast one--I'm his official escort." said angry Ed, cracking his knuckles.

"But..." mumbled flirty Ed, still cowering behind the bed. "Who is he?"

The other Eds groaned, even the little one. "Isn't it obvious?" cried Edwina desperately.

Flirty Ed shook his head with a bewildered look on his face: "nuh uh."

"I'm Alphonse Elric, sate alchemist. Code name: the SoulReaper alchemist." said the new Al. The Eds stared at him.

_'We better start being a better brother (/sister), or else Al will be doomed to be Mr. Sunshine over there...' _Thought flirty Ed, slightly afraid the boy. "But why are there two Als?"

Smarty Ed began to laugh maniacally, getting the attention of everyone in the room. "NOW will you all listen to my explanation?"

"NO!"

X

X

"Um...Niisan?" asked armor Al a little while later, after everyone had rushed out of the room, preferring to be bored rather than listen to Smarty Ed.

Flirty Ed turned around and smiled at his brother. "Hm?"

"Well...I know how you're the one that got gypped out of all the smarts when you split, or whatever," said Al timidly. Ed practically fell over. Was he really _that_ stupid? (Um...Yes.) "But still, who do you think that boy really is?"

Flirty Ed shrugged. "Dunno, but he sure can kick my ass. Something the real you can never do." he added cheerfully.

"But...every time we spar, _I_ always end up winning."

Ed stopped. "That's 'cuz I go easy on 'ya!" he squeaked nervously, laughing away his lie.

"Hey!" called Edwina, running up to the two boys. "Wanna go out shopping with me?" she chirped.

"Ew! No! Girly-girl-clothes-shopping--it burns!" cried flirty Ed comically, though he stopped when Eddie smacked him upside the head.

"No, dimwit," she huffed. "Grocery shopping; I thought we could make dinner for some of our friends tonight."

"Friends?" snorted flirty Ed. "What friends?"

Again, Edwina smacked him. "I mean, like Roy, Riza, Hughes, and all those other guys."

"Oh. Why didn't you just say that then?"

Eddie groaned.

X

X

"Soo..." asked Al at once they had arrived at the market. "What's on your list?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could make stew and--"

"WAIT!" called a small voice, echoing through the small streets of the market. The three stopped and stared down the bazaar. That voice... "Wait for me, Alison!" it cried out. Before they knew it, a small boy dashed out from behind a building, frantically glancing around. "Alison!" he whimpered.

Just then, a young teenaged girl emerged out of the crowd and grabbed the little boy's hand. "Sheesh," she hissed, pulling him away. "Quit embarrassing me like that." she ordered. The little boy nodded, wiping away his tears. The two turned around, just noticing the two Eds and the suit of armor staring at them. The two people stared back, the little boy automatically clinging to the girl's leg.

Flirty Ed and Edwina finally tore their gaze away from the two strangers and looked up at Al, who was standing oddly still and looked as frightened as a suit of armor could look. "Oh, shit." he muttered.

* * *

Me: Yay! 

Al: Not Yay.

Me: Not Yay?

Al: No.

Me: Why?

Al: Because you're an awful, evil person.

Me: Yes, thank you, I know that. Mwa ha ha...

Roy: Problem.

Me: What?

Roy: Al doesn't cuss--not like, ever.

Me: ...

Al: He's got a point.

Me: Well...You see, that, um... It's funnier that way?

Others: (groan)

Me: Now...Review! Though, you've probably already guessed what's going on by now.

Flirty Ed: I haven't.

Me: That's because you're an idiot.


	10. Sins and Virtues

Me: ………

Al: What's wrong with her?

Roy: She's in shock.

Al: Oh yeah… from that whole last episode thing. So, (turns to authoress) how was THE **last** episode _ever_?

Me: Incest.

Al: WHAT?-!

Me: Yaoi.

Roy: Huh?

Me: Masturbation--I don't care! Ed needs some lovin'!

Flirty Ed: (with a big grin on his face) I like the way you think, honey!

Roy: Well of course YOU do--both of you have two of the most gutter minds ever!

Flirty Ed: So do you.

Al: He's got a point. …OMG!-! Lecherous Niisan has a point?-! It's the end of the world!-!

Winry: (smacks Al) Shut up--you're giving me a headache! By the way, how come every perverted thing you just mentioned had absolutely zero femininity included in it?

Me: (turns away) Well… Partly because this fic isn't a yaoi (_mutter _for the most part_ mutter_)

Winry: What'd you say?

Me: Nothing! Anyway, it's mostly due to the fact of well… um… How can I put this lightly?

Winry: (glares) What're you trying to say?

Me: Well… I've heard this rumor that the movie doesn't end well for Ed/Winry fans, and then in the last episode, well… let's just say I can now understand where Elric Incest comes from.

Winry: WHAT?-! (turns to flirty Ed) You sick f.a.b.!-! I'll kill you!

Flirty Ed: Aiee! Don't hurt me--don't hurt me! It's not MY fault--I haven't lived through it yet!

Winry: GRAGH!-! (starts pummeling flirty Ed)

Me: (aside) But I DID see a movie screenshot where Ed and some new girl were making out. Or maybe he was sleeping and she was just leaning over him? I dunno--there was no caption to go with it.

Roy: (stares at authoress)

Me: What?

Roy: These are just rumors, right?

Me: YEP!

Winry: Die!-!

Flirty Ed: OOOWWWWWEEEEE!-!-!

Roy: Think that you should go tell them that?

Me: Naw, this is too much fun. (starts munching on some popcorn)

* * *

Disclaimer: …(sobs horrible and presses 'play' on a remote controller, therefore starting the last episode again)…Noooooo…

* * *

**Chapter 10: Sins and Virtue **

Flirty Ed and Edwina finally tore their gaze away from the two strangers and looked up at Al, who was standing oddly still and looked as frightened as a suit of armor could look. "Oh, shit." he muttered. He took a fumbling step backwards. "Shit…shit…shit…!"

Flirty Ed and Edwina exchanged worried glances. "Al doesn't cuss--not like, ever!" hissed the girl, leaning over to flirty Ed.

"Yeah, I know," he whispered back. "So there must be something really wrong with those people to freak him out this much."

"Yeah, but what?" (Ugh…two stupidest Eds EVER). They looked back over at the two people. They stared and stared, but they just couldn't quite put their thumb on who they were. So finally, they decided to look back at Al to find that he had scooted several feet away. "Hey, Al!" called flirty Ed. "What's wrong?"

Al pointed a shaky finger at the strangers and squeaked, twitching all over. Flirty Ed and Edwina turned around and jumped back a little; the new girl had approached them, dragging along the little boy. She leaned up really close to Flirty Ed, hardly three inches away. Ed turned bright red, thinking how cute this girl was--definite girlfriend material. He loved how her long taupe hair was pulled back into a perfect ponytail. How her hazel eyes glimmered in the late morning sun. That adorably innocent expression that she wore and her--

"Niisan?" she asked.

--And that's when flirty Ed dropped dead.

X

X

"Ugh…" moaned the flirtatious boy a little while later, finally regaining consciousness. He sat up quickly, making himself dizzy, but he had realized that he was back in the military base.

"You girly-man," came an amused voice from behind him. Flirty Ed spun around, making himself dizzy again, but at least he could see his speaker now. "How can you call yourself a true male figure if you've fainted twice in one day?" it was Smarty Ed.

Flirty Ed scowled. "I was beaten to a pulp the first time." He barked. Then he realized how stupid that sounded. He shook his head, telling himself that it didn't matter. "And it wasn't my fault the second time!"

"Oh really?" cooed Smarty Ed. That's when the door burst open and the young girl came bounding in.

"Niisan!" she cried, running straight to flirty Ed and giving him a big hug. "I'm sorry! I'm not sure what happened--but I know it was my fault!"

Flirty Ed stared at her with wide eyes, recalling everything he had been thinking before. _'STOP IT!'_ he screamed at himself. _'She's my brother--I mean sister! Argh!' _"What the hell is going on here?" he screamed in a panic. The girl immediately let go of him, a worried look on her face. Flirty Ed turned to Mr. Smarty-Pants, looking hysterical. The other Eds, and the three other Als came running into the room at the sound of his cry. "Explain--NOW!" he ordered to his far more intelligent counterpart.

Smarty Ed just kind of stared at him for a moment. "…For real? You actually want me to explain?" Flirty Ed nodded vigorously. Smart Ed laughed a little and then cleared his throat. "Lust," he stated, pointing to Flirty Ed.

"Huh?" he asked stupidly. He frowned. "I told you to explain--not remind me who the homunculi are!"

Smart Ed groaned, slapping his forehead. "No, you dimwit," he sighed. "The homunculi are named after the seven cardinal sins." He pointed to flirty Ed again, "Lust," then to Edwina "Pride", Emo Ed "Envy", angry Ed "Wrath", little Ed "Sloth", chubby Ed "Gluttony", and then finally to himself "and Greed." The other Eds looked at each other, thinking that if this was his long-awaited explanation, it was a far cry from the hype he had been giving it.

"So then, what about me?" asked armor Al timidly.

"Well," began greed Ed. (…How does he qualify as greedy?) "You know what we don't see enough of?" everyone in the room shrugged, making him groan again. "Uneducated halfwits," he muttered.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing!" he chirped, clearing his throat. "Anyway, as I was saying… Prudence, Justice, Faith, Fortitude, Hope, Temperance, and Charity--do those ring any bells?" they all shook their head. "Ugh… Anyway, those are the seven great virtues. Any questions?"

"Uh, yeah," said Flirty Ed, raising his hand. "What was the point in all that?"

"Um…That Al is a lot nicer than us?"

Everyone groaned.

"Well," started Edwina, heading out the door. "Have fun with your worthless theory, Mr. Greed. I on the other hand need to finish my shopping. Miss Prudence, would you care to join me?"

"M-me?" squeaked girl Al, pointing to herself.

"Who else is a 'Miss' in this room?"

"Hm…good point," and with that the girls left.

Little Ed looked around the room, spotting little Al. "Hey," he called, trotting over to the small boy. "Where've you been?" The other boy stared at him. "Do you know how worried mom will be if she found out that I lost you?" Al shook his head, making little Ed sigh. "Really worried--that's what!" He grabbed Al's hand. "Come on--let's see if we can talk that Mustang guy into getting us back to Rizembull. Everyone's probably freaking out 'cuz we've been gone so long."

Little Ed started to walk off, pulling little Al along behind him. "Wait, Niisan!" cried the boy. "Why don't we just call first? Make sure everything's okay?" he smiled at his brother. "That way we can stay here a little longer--I think this place is really fun!"

Ed stared at him a moment before giving a broad grin. "You're right," he chirped. "If we stay, we can laugh at that flirty idiot some more!"

Flirty Ed fell forwards. _'Does EVERYONE think I'm an idiot?'_ he thought sadly, watching the kids run from the room.

"…They really don't know, do they?" asked gluttony Ed. Flirty Ed looked over at him.

"Know what?"

"About mom,"

_"Do you know how worried mom will be if she found out that I lost you?"_

Flirty Ed looked away. _'I guess they don't…'_ He looked back over at smarty Ed. "So how many more Als are there left to find?"

The other boy groaned. "Think about--I know it's hard for you, but what's seven minus four?" he asked sarcastically.

"Three, then I take it?" said Flirty Ed coldly. The other boy nodded. "Hey," said Flirty Ed suddenly. "Where's Winry?"

"Still asleep in her room, I think."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" came the distinct cry of Winry from down the hall. "EEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDs!" she screamed.

Smart Ed instantly ducked behind flirty Ed, whimpering "hide me!"

"We are SO dead…" muttered flirty Ed hopelessly.

* * *

Me: Mwa ha ha… 

Al: You just like being evil, don't you?

Me: Oh yeah!

Roy: (rubbing temples from stress) Hey, how come you don't say 'armor' Al or whatever here?

Me: Because that'd get confusing if I had more than one of the same character here.

Flirty Ed: Um…Hello? What about me?-!

Me: Pfftht! Al's cooler than you, that's why.

Wrath Ed: Ooh—she didn't!

Emo Ed: She did.

Flirty Ed: I dare 'ya to say that to my face!

Me: I can't! 'Cuz that would mean turning on the TV and watching last epi--!-!-! …

Flirty Ed: What happened to her?

Roy: She went into shock again.

Me: ………

Flirty Ed: Oi!

Fuehrer King Bradley: Review!

Others: …

Fuehrer: What?

Roy: (saluting) Um…Sir? Why are you here?

Me: 'Cuz I hate him!

Roy: Why?

Me: 'Cuz he's a big meanie pants! Oh wait, yeah, I'm supposed to be in shock. ………

Roy: Oi…


	11. Sitting in the halls

Me: Sigh…

Roy: NOW what's wrong?

Me: Well…I WAS going to yell at everybody.

Roy: Why…?

Me: 'Cuz they kept blabbing about the movie and I didn't want to know anything in advance.

Roy: And you're not going to yell at them now because…?

Me: Heh heh… Conqueror of Shambala was SOOOOOO cool!

Roy: How did YOU see it?

Me: (evil look) You REALLY wanna know? Well, my family went up to my brother's college to visit him or something and he was high-speed WiFi. And of course, I just HAD to take advantage of that wonderful opportunity!

Roy: Was there a catch?

Me: Yep! Equivalency.

Roy: Huh?

Me: Eh heh…Well…The screen I was viewing it own was, like, 4x3 inches, wide screen, with microscopic subtitles--and my eyesight is bad enough as it is. And on top of that, it all seemed surreal because I was kneeling on a poorly carpeted floor for the whole how-ever-long-it-was-time. And then, like, five minutes of it wouldn't load, but that's okay since I could pretty much pick up on everything I missed. It was an okay movie, not terribly good, but it's FMA, so you can't go wrong. And the music was pretty cool, too. And--

SPOILER ALERT!-!  
SPOILER ALERT!-!  
SPOILER ALERT!-!  
WELL, NOT REALLY A TERRIBLY BIG SPOILER.  
MORE LIKE A COOL LITTLE TIDBIT ABOUT AL.  
SPOILER ALERT!-!  
SPOILER ALERT!-!  
SPOILER ALERT!-!  
OKAY, EVERYONE GOT THAT? GOOD.

Me: So anyway, it was really fun to see how dead-on I was about some details. Like, you know how I call that one Al 'SoulReaper'? In the movie, human Al could detach his soul and put it into other objects. Not totally off from what I was planning--but it was wicked cool to find out how close I was without knowing anything in advance. Oh, and Al in the movie wasn't as mean as I made SoulReaper, but I kinda figured that already. Remember when I said that I was going to make up my own end, or something like that? Well, that's where that comes in.

END SPOILER ALERT!-!  
END SPOILER ALERT!-!  
END SPOILER ALERT!-!  
END SPOILER ALERT!-!  
END SPOILER ALERT!-!  
END SPOILER ALERT!-!  
OKAY? WE'RE ALL GOOD AGAIN.

Roy: That seemed a little unnecessary.

Me: Yeah, well, I respect that some people just don't want to know these things in advance. It ruins it for them.

Roy: So then…Those kinda people **_SHOULDN'T READ THE END NOTE FOR THIS CHAPTER_**, am I right?

Me: Yep! But it's only a half-way spoiler between the movie and the last episode. So if you've seen the last one, and were paying attention, it's not THAT big of shock. And it doesn't give much away about the plot--again, it's just a couple little tidbits. But some people haven't seen the last episode yet either, and again, they don't wanna know. And I respect that.

Roy: And then you laugh at them for that.

Me: Quiet! (smacks Roy)

Roy: Owe! Watch the eye!

Me: Yes…the eye. Heh heh heh. I didn't say ANYTHING!

Roy: Sure…

* * *

Disclaimer: Mwa ha ha…after seeing the movie--I don't WANT to own it! (I'd rather just fantasize in my fanfics).

* * *

**Chapter 11: Sitting in the halls**

"EEDDDDs!" screamed Winry, storming out of her room and down the hall. She appeared a second later in the doorway of the room that lust and greed Ed were cowering in. "What," she growled, advancing on them slowly. "What the hell is going on here?-!"

"You know--"squeaked flirty Ed nervously. "There's a veryyy good explanation for all this."

"So what is it?"

"..." Flirty Ed grinned. "Well, now, you'll just have to ask him!" he chirped, pushing smarty Ed forward right as he dashed out of the room.

"Don't leave me!" cried fours-eyes. He looked up at Winry and swallowed hard, laughing hysterically. "Sooo...You wanna hear my theory?"

X

Flirty Ed leaned back against the outside wall of the building, gasping for air. "Man..." he panted, "that was close."

"Narrowly escaping the wrath of a woman?" asked a voice to Ed's left. He practically jumped out of his skin when the colonel spoke. Roy laughed at the boy. "Take it easy," he chuckled, "I'm not gonna kill you."

"Others would beg to differ." muttered Ed, heart still racing.

"Soo..." asked Roy after a minute, looking down at Ed. "Have you told her yet?"

Ed stared up at him. "Huh?" he asked stupidly.

Mustang smiled, turning away. "I'm just askin'! Riza--I mean-- Hawkeye _did_ say that you were pretty panicked when you thought she went missing last night."

"Are you talking about Winry?" asked Ed slowly.

"Who else?"

Ed turned bright red. "T-tell her what?" he squeaked, completely flustered. "What could I possibly have to say to her?-!"

"Well..." cooed Roy slyly, placing his hand under his chin. "I was just wondering. Since this IS the perfect opportunity to confess your undying love for her given your current position."

"My what--?-!" shrieked Ed, backing away. "What the hell are you talking about old man?"

Roy stopped and an awkward silence fell over the two. "...old?" he asked quietly. Ed's face returned to its normal color as he gazed up at the colonel. "Did you say 'old'?" asked the man again. Ed nodded, and before he knew it, Roy had gone into a total hissy fit and was swinging his arms wildly. "HOW DARE YOU!" he screeched. "I'm barely thirty! How can I be 'OLD'?-!"

"It was a joke--I didn't mean it--come on, leave me alone!" cried Ed as he ran around in front of the military base, trying to keep out of the reach of his superior officer.

"No one calls Roy Mustang old and gets away with it!" screamed the colonel hysterically. The sound of a sudden gunshot ringing through the air ceased the boys' antics as they turned to see who had fired it: Hawkeye.

"Come on, old man!" she ordered, pointing at the Roy. "Leave the poor Chibi alone and go do your paper work!"

Mustang blew out his cheeks. "And what if I don't wanna?" he muttered. A second bullet flew passed him, hardly a millimeter from his ear. "Alright, alright!" he squeaked, grasping his chest. "I'll go do my paper work."

"That's what I though you said." murmured Riza with a smirk. As the colonel slowly shuffled inside, sobbing like a little kid at how strict Riza was, the woman turned to Ed and called "Winry's looking for you, ya'know!" before closing the door behind herself. Ed promptly ran away and found a good hiding spot for the rest of the day.

X

"Let's see..." mumbled Edwina, gazing down at her grocery list. "We got the beef and the veggies, what else do we...?" She glanced over at Allison. "Yo, Sis!" she called. The other girl smiled at her and set the piece of fruit that she had been examining down.

"Yes?" asked the girl sweetly.

Edwina showed her the completed list. "What else do we need for the stew?"

"Milk." said the other girl simply. After Ally blinked, Eddie was gone. "Umm... Neesan?" she called. She sighed and picked up the bag of food that Edwina had dropped. "I'll get it..." she sighed, heading over to a dairy stand.

No one saw Edwina again until after midnight.

X

"(glare)"

"(scowl)"

That's how it was all day between wrath Ed and SoulReaper Al. They sat adjacent each other in an empty room. And all they did was:

"(glare)"

"(scowl)"

X

"Why," whispered little Ed to his equally little brother. "Why is Winry like this? How come she's so _old_?" He looked to his brother for an answer but found that he had turned white and was staring up passed Ed. "What?" asked the boy, following the gaze. And when he saw what his brother did, he too blanched.

"Who are you calling old?" asked Winry darkly, cracking her knuckles.

X

"So," asked Emo Ed, looking up from his book when Mr. Smarty-Pants came into the room. "How did your theory go over with Winry?"

The other boy glanced over at his counterpart and laughed a little, flopping down in a chair. "Really well, actually. She thought it made a lot of sense."

"She didn't bother to ask if you had a _real_ explanation? Like, WHY we're suddenly sins and virtues?"

The other boy tsk-ed. "Shut up, I'm still working on that part. I mean--whaddya think I am? A super genius?" Emo Ed lifted cocked an eyebrow. "That was rhetorical." grunted smarty Ed quickly.

"Mmhm," mumbled emo Ed, looking back down at his book. "Every consider that it might have something to do with Scar?"

Smarty Ed snorted. "Who cares _how_ it happened. I just want to know how to cure it!"

"Good luck with that!" chirped emo Ed sarcastically.

Smarty Ed huffed and stood up, stomping out of the room. Emo Ed just smiled amusedly and turned the page of his book.

X

X

The next few days passed without much excitement. The military was still on a manhunt for Scar, all the Eds and Als were still causing complete chaos, and for some reason, Smarty Ed had been shut up in a laboratory for three days straight. That is, until today. Greed had finally emerged from his work looking pale and starving. And the only thing he said to anyone was: "tell my other selves that I need to meet with them."

And that's how they ended up here. Only Eds, no officers, no Als; just the makings for everything to go wrong.

"So why the hell did you call us here?" barked wrath Ed.

Greed Ed just smiled at him and whispered "you'll see."

X

Winry sat in the hall, rubbing her temples. "Please," she whispered with her hands folded and eyes closed. "Please let them fix this soon." She prayed, clenching her hands even tighter. After a moment, she sighed and opened her eyes, gazing up at the ceiling. She shook her head. "Why is he always in so much trouble?"

"And why are people from Resembool always sitting in the halls?" came a voice from over Winry's head.

The girl fell over, startle by the appearance of Hawkeye. "L-lieutenant!" she stuttered. "Fancy seeing you here!" she laughed nervously.

Riza smiled and sat down beside her. "I didn't mean to scare you. And I guess it is pretty comfy down here." Winry laughed a little at Riza's joke. "So, what do you think they're doing in there?"

Before Winry had the chance to answer, a bright red light erupted from behind the door they were sitting next to. A deafening explosion soon followed, shaking the entire military base, and making the lights flicker for a second. And then, just as suddenly as it had occurred, the disturbance ceased, leaving the complex eerily silent until alarms starting going off.

Riza quickly rose to her feet, gun at the ready. She kicked open the door and ran in. Winry sat up against the wall, still in shock as to what just happened. "Winry!" called the lieutenant. "I think you'd better see this!"

Winry shook her head, coming back to reality. She wobbly stood up and slowly entered the room. She peeked through the doorway to see Hawkeye staring at something on the ground behind a table. Her gun was lowered and she looked truly stunned.

"What is it?" asked Winry, coming in a little more. Hawkeye just shook her head, still staring at whatever was behind the counter. Winry carefully made her way over to the older woman and finally she got to see what she was staring at. She gasped. Lying sprawled on his stomach was a single Ed, all others of him were gone without a trace. "Edward!" cried the girl happily, dashing to his side and falling to her knees. "You did it! You're normal again!" she waited for his smug answer, but it never came. "Ed," cooed Winry, nudging his side. "Come on, Ed. You're not being funny." She pushed him more roughly, but he remained motionless. "Come on, wake…up…?" Winry stopped. She had rolled the boy over onto his back, but he wasn't asleep.

His eyes were half-lidded and his mouth was open a bit. "Ed…ward…?" whispered the girl, tapping his cheek. "Come on, this isn't funny--wake up. Say something!" still, he didn't move. "Edward!" she cried more desperately. She leaned over him and picked up his left hand, shaking it a little. But when she let go, it just fell limply back to his side.

Winry scooted backwards, pressing up against the cupboards behind her. She covered her mouth, shaking all over. "Ed…" she whispered. She jammed her eyes shut, holding back tears. "Why…?" She took a shuttering breath, fear paralyzing most of her movement. "Why?" she wailed, sobbing into her hands.

* * *

Me: He's dead. 

Winry: WHAT?-!-?

Me: He. Is. Dead.

Winry: You can't just kill off Ed! You can't even say that in an author's note!

Me: Exactly.

Winry: You--huh?

Me: That's why I'm saying it.

Winry: Wha-buh-huh?

Me: Heh heh heh… Exactly.

Winry: You're very confusing.

Me: Yes, I know.

Wrath: Now--REVIEW!

Winry: …Now HE'S here? Why?

Me: Because--I love 'em to death now! (gasp!) To DEATH?-! NOOOOOO!-!-! ………

Roy: She's in shock again.

Winry: Why?

Wrath: 'Cuz she hasn't heard a single word about a sequel.

Winry: That sucks.

Envy: Yeah, it does. I mean--roar.

Winry: Did you just say 'roar'?

Envy: Yes.

Winry: Why?

Envy: 'Cuz dragons can't talk.

Winry: Was that a spoiler?

Envy: Nope--it was in the last episode.

Winry: Right, whatever.


	12. When He Wakes Up

Me: Sorry for being gone soo long, but--

Winry: Stuff just kept coming up?

Me: Oh yeah.

Winry: (clapping hands together) Let's get on with this before I find a new boyfriend!

Me: You mean before Ed goes yaoi on you… again?

Winry: Ugh………yes.

Me: Heh heh heh…

* * *

Disclaimer: …I've been gone so long, I can't remember if I own it or not. (Looks at agent) Nope, still don't.

* * *

**Chapter 12: When He Wakes Up **

"Why?" screamed Winry, sobbing all out now. Hawkeye backed up into the doorframe and reached out a shaking hand to grab the red phone from its hook. "Colonel," she hissed into the receiver, "get a med team down here quick, we've got an emergency on our hands."

X

Three hours later, Ed still wasn't moving, but the colonel had relocated him into the hospital wing of the base to be examined. No matter how many different tests the doctors did, results still remained inconclusive--he _is_ Ed for all intents and purposes, he's just… a vegetable now.

"Oh, Ed," whispered Winry sadly, grasping his left hand in her own tightly, sitting next to his bed as she had been since he been moved here. "What happened to you? What did you do…?"

"Niisan…" whispered armor Al, standing in the back of the room.

SoulReaper Al snorted, gaining the attention of his metal self. "Good riddance," he huffed. "It's about time he got what was coming to him."

"How can you say that?" cried Winry, turning to the boys. "He's your brother, how can you hate him like this?"

"You don't know what he's done to me!" yelled the older boy angrily, uncrossing his arms and taking a step away from the wall. "You don't know how he's hurt every single one of us!"

"It doesn't matter!" shrieked the girl, beginning to cry once more. "It doesn't… matter…" she whispered, looking back at Ed, pressing his hand to her forehead.

"Winry," started Alison softly.

Winry shook her head. "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost either of you."

"I do," said SoulReaper, glancing over at the door. "You'd be strong and keep moving forward."

"How do know?"

The boy frowned; "Because this isn't the first time he's left you like this." With that, he exited the room.

Winry stared after him, and after a moment, she turned back to Ed, squeezing his hand. "Wake up, Ed." she said firmly. "Wake up soon and tell me what's really going on."

X

The next time Alison checked in on her brother, Winry had fallen asleep beside him. She smiled warmly at the two and found a blanket to wrap around Winry's shoulders. "Do you think he'll ever wake up again?" she asked.

The small figure of her child self stirred from the corner, hopping out of a chair. He hobbled over to Alison sleepily, reaching out for her hand. "I hope so," he murmured, rubbing his eye. "I miss Niisan already…"

"Me too…" sighed the girl.

"What's wrong with you two?" asked a heavy voice from the doorway. Both Als turned to look at the speaker; it was SoulReaper. "You have no idea what that bastard's going to put you through. My suggestion is that you stop caring now so it won't hurt later."

Alison drew in a deep breath, let go of the child's hand, and marched right up to other boy. _SLAP!_ "Stop," she commanded shakily, tears sparkling in her eyes. "Stop talking that way about Niisan. He's our brother and we all love him. What could possibly have happened to make you hate him so much?"

"You really want to know?" he asked quietly, rubbing his cheek; Alison nodded and little Al came scuttling over to her, taking another firm grasp on her hand. SoulReaper closed his eyes and turned away slightly. "He abandoned everything. He just left without a word and never came back. We've all been waiting for eight years now; my Winry, where I'm from, she still hasn't lost hope. But I…"

"You don't believe in Niisan anymore?" asked little Al, gazing up at his older self.

"Why should? Like I said, he abandoned _everything_: his home, his work, his family; me, Winry, _the twins_; everything!"

"Wait," started Alison slowly. "The…twins…?" she asked, blinking at him. "What twins?"

"Um," Al took a step backwards, looking away and clearing his throat. "I probably shouldn't have mentioned that."

"What twins?" demanded the girl, advancing on him.

"No really," he said, starting to become nervous, "forget I even said anything!"

"Tell me!" she practically screamed.

"What…?" came a quiet voice from inside the room. "Did someone say something?" It was Winry; they had woken her up.

"Oh, um… no," squeaked Alison, forgetting about her interrogation. "Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay," she murmured, sitting up slightly. She looked over at Ed and her expression fell. "He's still…"

"Yeah," sighed Alison, walking over to the other girl. "But he'll get better soon; I promise."

Winry smiled weakly at her and turned back to Ed sadly. "What if…what if he doesn't, though?"

"Just forget about it already, would you?" groaned SoulReaper irritably; Alison shot him a nasty glare; Winry just looked away, becoming even more disheartened. The boy sighed and said "What I mean is that of course he's gonna get better, coz there's no way he can't. Certain future implications demand it."

"Thank you," said Winry kindly, smiling warmly at him. "But something gives me the feeling that this may be changing the future."

"Alright," said a voice coming through the door, "it's time to run a few more tests on the patient, so would you all be so kind as… to… leave?" the young doctor stared at the visitors.

Winry quietly began rapping her head on the bed post, silently screaming "why me?"

Say hello to Al #5.

X

After a while, once the doctors (including the new Al) had finished running more inconclusive tests, Colonel Mustang came back to check in on Ed. "Anything new?" was all he asked; Winry, who was once more at the boy's side, shook her head sorrowfully. The Colonel sighed rubbing the back of his head. "That boy…" he muttered irritably. "How long has it been?" he asked after a moment.

"About twelve hours now, sir." answered Hawkeye from behind him.

"Has it really been that long?" asked Winry jadedly, barely able to keep her eyes open.

"Have you gotten any sleep since the incident?" asked the lieutenant worriedly.

Winry nodded slightly. "A little," she whispered, yawning a bit.

"It's getting late," stated the Colonel, looking up at the clock. "You should probably go back to your room and--"

"No!" cried the girl, leaning over Ed. "I won't leave him!"

"Winry," cautioned Hawkeye, "straining yourself like this won't do you any good; besides, Ed wouldn't want you to push yourself."

"Yeah, but…" started the girl quietly; she sighed and looked down at Ed. She smiled at him gently, carefully cupping his cheek in her hand, gazing into his glazed, half-lidded eyes. "I just can't leave him," she tenderly ran her thumb over his cheek bone, "I won't…"

Just then, the dormant boy began to glow, and within seconds, a flash of bright red light identical to the one 12 hours ago filled the room and was closely followed by another deafening boom. When the commotion had subsided, Winry slowly peeled her eyes open and uncovered her ears; her heart skipped a beat. There, spread out on the far walls of the room, were her seven precious chibis.

"My head…" moaned flirty Ed, trying yet failing to stand up. "What just happened?"

"It seems I made an error in my calculations…" muttered Mr. Smarty-Pants.

"So this was your fault?" screamed wrath Ed, beginning to regain his mobility.

"Fault?" chuckled the nearsighted boy, "I'd call it more of a necessary step in the name of a cure."

"I'll show you a necessary step!" shouted the more muscular boy, pouncing at his smarter self. He pinned Greed to the floor, starting to pound his face into oblivion. He was soon joined by the other five Eds were just as pissed at the wannabe scientist.

All the while, Winry was sitting, gawking at the seven brawlers, crying her eyes out. "Ed…" she whispered, covering her mouth with her hands. "You're… you're…" before she knew it, she had bolted to her feet and rushed over to them, catching all seven of them in a collective hug. "I'm so glad you're alright!" she cried.

They all stopped fighting, startled by her appearance. "Winry!" squeaked little Ed happily, hugging her back tightly.

"What's wrong?" asked a few of the others, still confused as to what had just happened to them.

"You," sniffled the girl, still embracing them, "Do you…"

POW!-!-!

Every single Ed fell backwards, a large, painful bump on their head; Winry was breathing hard and grasping her wrench tightly. "Do you know how worried I was?" she screamed, still sobbing happily.

* * *

Flirty Ed: Why? Why does it always have to be a wrench?

Me: What else would it be--A giant hammer?

Flirty Ed: No, I was thinking more along the line of pillows.

Me: Pillows?

Flirty Ed: Yep--sexy, lacy, lingerie pillow fighting.

Me: …Just NO.

Please review! And thank you for reading:)


	13. When Sins Meet Sins

Me: Yeah, yeah, I've been taking too long writing.

Roy: So shut up and get on with it!

Me: Bah…

* * *

Disclaimer: No, no, INFINITE NO!

* * *

**  
Chapter 13: When Sins Meet Sins **

"Is she still asleep?" asked Mustang as Hawkeye exited Winry's room; the woman nodded. The colonel sighed; "It's a good thing that Ed went back to 'normal' when he did, or else Winry might have _never_ slept again." Hawkeye rolled her eyes at the lame joke. "By the way, where'd they go now?" Hawkeye shrugged; she'd given up on trying to keep track of seven of that boy.

X

"…So you see, the problem wasn't in my calculations, but in some unknown factor that _some_ of you don't feel like sharing with me." Mr. Smarty-Pants turned away from his chalkboard to see his audience of selves either asleep or flat out not paying attention. "Why do I even bother?" he grumbled.

"I have a question," squeaked little Ed of all people, shooting his hand up into the air. "In simple English: what did you do to us?"

"Well… I sort of recreated the alchemic blast that occurred between us and Scar."

"But then how did we revert if we were in comatose-like state?"

"I put a failsafe into my calculation. After a 12 hour period, if the experiment was not a success, then we were to regress back into these forms."

"How did you install a failsafe into alchemy?"

"Well I," smarty Ed stopped, "wait a minute—when did _you_ become so… so… _intelligent_?"

Little Ed shrugged. "Since I started studying harder?"

"When have you had a chance to study?"

The boy shrugged again. "I dunno, I guess I just sort of remember studying, that's all."

"Uh oh,"

"What?"

Greed Ed quickly turned back to his chalkboard and began scribbling away. After a few minutes, he stopped writing and stared at his new calculations. "Uh oh," he repeated.

"_What_?" pressed little Ed again.

The other boy laughed nervously. "Well… it seems that my little experiment has caused a chain reaction…"

"Such as…?"

"The effects of the initial accident have begun to accelerate exponentially."

"Uh oh," squeaked Sloth Ed, "and since we're linked to Al in this that means he's gonna feel the effects, too?"

"Exactly," Smarty-Pants stopped again, "wait, how did you—"

"Studying," chirped sloth once more.

"Right," he grinned evilly, "but do you know _how_ we were linked?" he asked, just to test the other boy.

"Duh, when he 'caught' us, and left a dent in his armor, the effects ricocheted off him; everyone knows that."

"Smart kid…" muttered Greed.

"I am you," chirped Sloth cutely.

"Right…"

"Hey," said Havoc, walking up to the doorway, "there are some creeps outside wanting to kill you," he stated before walking away.

Both Eds glanced at each other.

X

"So the rumors are true… there really are seven of you…" muttered Lust as Little Ed, Smarty Ed, and (for some reason) SoulReaper came out to meet the homunculi.

"If there are seven, then where the hell did the other five go?" said Wrath, being as crude and psychotic as he normally is. "Did the rest of you bastards die already?"

"Watch your language, kid," spat the only Al on the scene. The two Eds shot him worried glances; tough Al? Giving parental advice to a homunculus?-! What is the future like…?

"Make me, you freak!" shouted the little boy, charging at Al.

The taller boy caught his transforming arm as it shot passed his face. Al slammed his elbow into the sin's stomach and pinned him against the wall of the military base. "I don't know what drug-induced game you're playing _this_ time, but I want to know _why_ you've _rejoined_ the homunculi!"

Wrath blinked at him. "Rejoined? What the hell are you talking about?" he asked stupidly, totally lost.

Al groaned; "Oh right… hasn't happened yet…" he looked back up at the boy, "Never mind," he chirped, tossing him away. "But you better be nice to Izumi, or you'll have _me_ to answer to!"

"What about Teacher?" asked the Eds, just as lost as their attackers.

Al groaned frustrated-ly again. "Just never mind!" he shouted.

"What the hell happened to you?" called Envy. (A/N: Okay, so it's every homunculus here except for Pride and Greed.) "You're Chibi's little brother, right? So how come you're not trapped in that armor anymore?"

"I think _he_ split into seven, too…" drawled Lust.

"Oh goody, more to eat!" cheered Gluttony, clapping his hands apishly.

"Okay, _definitely_ prefer the _new Gluttony_…" muttered Al, shivering a bit.

"WHAT?" cried the fat sin, "What you mean 'NEW' me? Who replacing me?" he cried pathetically.

"No one's replacing you," said Lust calmly.

"Okay!" (Yeesh, that seemed to quell his worrying…)

"You seem to know an awful lot…" called Envy, "Just what the hell happened to you?"

"Tell us more of the future, sweet younger brother!" chirped little Ed with sparkly eyes.

"I shouldn't have said anything to start with…" he muttered.

"I've had enough of this," said Sloth, coming up to Al, "come my son, Mommy will make the pain of existence go away."

"Oh, shut up, Lady." said Al, taking her hand a throwing her over his head.

"AHH!" cried Sloth as she landed amongst some trashcans. "No fair! You're supposed to be the gullible one!"

Al snorted; "You mean about me still wanting you as a mom? Look, I got over that _ages_ ago!"

"So much for plan B," whispered Lust.

"MOMMY!" cried Wrath, racing over to Sloth. He turned to Al and snarled, charging at him again. "You'll pay for what you did to my Mommy!"

Al rolled his eyes, grabbing the oncoming boy's arm and swinging him around. "Get it through your head; she's _not_ your mom!"

"And I suppose that _old hag_ that you mentioned _is_?"

Al lost his grip on the boy and fell over; exasperated. "I am SO misunderstood…" he sobbed.

"I beat him! I beat him! I beat him!" chanted Wrath, hopping up and down on top of Al.

"Well stop gloating and finish him off already!" barked Envy.

"Ok-ayyyayayaya!" stumbled Wrath; Al had stood up, making Wrath lose his balance. "Oof!" he grunted as he landed on his bottom.

"Now, it's times like this when you gotta ask; 'What do you do now, Sloth'?" said Al, cracking his knuckles.

Sloth raised an eyebrow, looking at him curiously; little Ed just asked "huh?" Al groaned for the umpteenth time.

"NE-VER-MIND!" shouted the boy irritably. He then proceeded to toss Wrath into Sloth, kick Gluttony onto his back, preventing him from standing back up, twist Lust's arms back painfully, and just glare maliciously at Envy.

"W-we'll be back!" called the palm-tree boy as he and the other sins fled pitifully.

"…Did you just single handedly defeat 70-percent of the homunculi?" asked Smarty Ed after a minute.

Al shrugged; "You get used to it after a while."

"The future is cool!" cooed little Ed fanatically.

Al slapped his forehead; "The future is _bleak_," he growled.

"But you're so cool and not stuck in armor—everything must've worked out alright!"

Al glared down at him; "If _only_ you knew…"

"Knew what?"

"_Ugh_… Never mind…"

"Hey, what's all the commotion?" asked Winry sleepily, peeking out at the boys through her window.

Al sighed, going over to the door; "Just go back to sleep…" he crooned tiredly.

* * *

Wrath: Wow… 

Me: Ne?

Wrath: That was…

Al: Stupid?

Me: I thought it was funny.

Wrath: Are you planning a sequel or something; coz none of that made any sense.

Me: Not parse a sequel, more like an adaptation.

Al: …You mean like an extra story that's technically, but not really, a sequel to another story you have and you were just stupid and linked them all together so people would have to read the technical sequel to understand certain elements of the story?

Me: Umm………yes.

Wrath: But if it's "technically" a sequel, wouldn't that mean that people would have to read the first story, too?

Me: Nah, it just kinda builds off the first one, but you wouldn't have to read it to know what's going on in the "sequel".

Al: Then why are you calling it a sequel?

Me: Because I can.

Wrath and Al: Ugh…

………

Wrath: So when's this sequel coming out?

Me: …When _you_ turn into a human.

Wrath: You mean never?

Roy: I wouldn't say that, you might wanna look at these story ideas.

Wrath: Squee! Do I finally kill Ed?

Me: NO.

Wrath: Rats.

**Review please:)**


	14. The X Factor

Me: OMG I've been gone forever!

Roy: And your stories suck! What's your point?

Me: ………(SLAP!)

Roy: Owie!

Me: Let that be a lesson to you, or next time I'll release chibi Riza on you!

Roy: (whimper)

---

Disclaimer: I own DVDs. Lots and lots of DVDs… nothing else.

---

**Chapter 14: The X Factor**

"Oh… I don't feel so good…" moaned little Ed as he came inside with SoulReaper and Smarty-Pants.

"Just go to bed," muttered Greed, "you're probably just tired." Sloth nodded weakly, hobbling away.

"So, Mr. Future-Man," started Ed after his smaller counterpart had gone. "If you're _really_ ahead of all us, then would you mind filling me in on the X-factor that's prohibiting me from completing the reversal equation to this dilemma?"

Al just stared at him a moment, then walked away, mumbling, "You're insane."

Mr. Smarty-pants puffed out his cheeks childishly and stomped back to the Eds' room, slamming the door behind him.

"What have we here?" chirped wrath Ed sarcastically, "Have I been replaced by a _mad_ alchemist?"

Greed flopped down in a chair across from the other boy and sighed. "I _hate_ this," he growled. "And it seems like no one is doing anything to stop it!"

"Oh… you mean the whole 'why don't I know the secret' thing, right?" Greed gave him an icy glare. "Well I'll keep my word; when my time comes, I won't hold back."

"Whatever _that_ means…" muttered smart Ed, crossing his arms.

Just then, Edwina and little Al walked in. "Sorry to interrupt," she said, "I'm just getting a deck of cards we can play with." She went over to a cabinet in the back of the room while Al went up to the table to talk to the other Eds.

"So you're like really smart, right?" he asked Greed.

"You could say that, _or_ you could say that I'm the most brilliant alchemist in the entire country—no, make that 'the world'!" he bragged stupidly.

"Then why can't you fix us?"

"Uhm…"

"Why can't you shut up?" grumbled wrath, looking away.

"Well," continued Al, trying to ignore that particular Ed, "you at least have a plan right?"

"Do you at least have a brain?" snorted the boy again.

"Hey, quit it, okay?" snapped smart Ed cautiously. He looked back at Al and smiled nervously. "Not exactly a plan—more like a…"

"An idea?"

"Which is something _you_ apparently never have." spat wrath.

"Alright, you can stop right there. He's just a kid—leave 'im alone!"

"What're you gonna do about it, four-eyes?"

"What're you two arguing about this time?"

"Stay out of it, girly!" shouted wrath Ed.

"Temper, much?" she asked, backing away.

"Why shouldn't I have a temper?" he demanded. "After everything I've been through, I have the right to vent!"

"Don't you think you're going a little too far?"

"Don't try to control me!" he yelled, smacking the deck of cards out of her hand.

"Calm down!"

"Make me!"

"Niisan, stop it!" cried Al.

"Shut up, you brat! I'm not listening to you anymore!"

"That's enough!" shouted the other two Eds.

"No it's not! You wanna know why?" he glared down at little Al as the others tried to restrain him. "Because I hate you, you stupid little brat! I've always hated you!"

"STOP IT!" screamed Edwina.

"You're an idiot! Mom's gone and she's never coming back so stop whining about that stupid homunculus!"

"EDWARD!" shrieked the girl in his ear. "That's. Enough." She stated firmly. Wrath turned to glare at her, but her look was worse than anything he could've ever given her.

After a moment, Ed looked back down at Al. He had his head bowed and his shoulders were shaking. "Al, I," he started slowly.

"Why…" sniveled the little boy. "Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked quietly.

"Why didn't I…" Ed looked away, still being held back by his other selves. "Why would I have told you? You're my little brother; I don't want to say stuff like that to you."

"Then why," he hiccupped, rubbing his eyes.

"I… I couldn't help it… it's just that now…"

"You really meant it though, didn't you?" he sobbed, gazing up at Ed with tear filled eyes. "You really do hate me. You can't take it back!"

"Do you… want to know why though…?"

"B-because I won't let go of mom?"

Ed shook his head, still not facing the boy. "Because you… you keep me alive." Al looked up at him wide-eyed. "There were so many times when I wanted to just end it all, but you… you were always there to help me through…" he looked down at the small boy and grinned weakly. "I'm pathetic, aren't I? Relying on my little brother when he needs me more?"

"Brother, I…"

"I'm sorry Al, I'm really sorry…" with that, he began to glow the same red that had caused all these messes and Greed tried to back away, muttering, "Not again." But before he could get away, a bright flash blinded him momentarily and when he opened his eyes, wrath Ed was gone.

"He just disappeared." said Edwina, very freaked out right not. "Where'd he go?"

Greed looked down at his hands and saw that they were taking in the red light. "I think we absorbed him."

"EW!" screeched the girl. "He disappeared—he's in us—he's gone!"

"Stop going mad, woman!" shouted the other boy. "I think this is what he meant when he told me that he wouldn't hold back." That Ed stopped, waited a moment, and then cursed. "That jerk! He didn't stick around long enough to tell me what the hell his secret was!"

"Is all you care about that stupid experiment of yours?" demanded Edwina hotly.

"YES! I want to get back to normal!" the girl huffed and turned away, stalking out of the room until she stopped and turned back to little Al. "Are you alright?"

He nodded slowly, still swiping away tears. "Yeah… and what he said… I understand."

Pride smiled slightly. "Soo… are you still up for a game of euchre?" Al smiled and followed after her.

Greed sighed and flopped down in a chair. "What is the secret? What is the x-factor that I'm missing?"

"Ohh…" moaned little Ed, shuffling into the room. "I couldn't fall asleep, and I really, _really_ don't feel good."

"Well don't hurl while I'm here." He stood up. "I'm going back to my lab for some peace and quiet."

"Don't… leave…" groaned the smaller boy. "It feels like I drank milk… ugh…"

---

Roy: Is it just me, or does this keep getting worse and worse?

Me: It's just you.

Riza: I think it's getting worse, too.

Winry: Me too.

Al: Me three.

Me: Well you know what? Then you don't have to read it!

Roy: But it's still funny.

Riza: And halfway interesting.

Winry: And once we start reading a story,

Al: We can't stop.

Me: Thank you OCD. Heh heh… Please review.


	15. DEATH!

Me: Wow… This hasn't been updated in AGES and I'm STILL getting random reviews for it… wow. O.o

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Disclaimer: Hmm… I dunno… Does " Edo" rhyme with "Naruto"? I don't either but I've moved on to the latter… (squeal for da' Naru!-!)

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**Chapter 15: DEATH!-!**

"Little Al is sick, too?" asked Chubby-chan.

"Yeah… and no matter how I look at it, I can't identify the cause of illness." said Al numero seis, flipping through a book. Ah, bookworm Al; Sheska was devastated when she found out that he wouldn't be stinking around for long.

"And what's more…" started emo Ed dully, "is that greed and hope haven't been feeling well either." The other two boys stared at him blankly; envy sighed. "Hope is the one still stuck in the armor."

"Ohh…"

_BOOM!_

The military base shook with a violent force for what seemed to be the umpteenth time this week. None of the boys flinched as the lights flickered and alarms went off.

"Think they'll fill us in on what happened later?" asked Al, picking up a new book.

"Probably," said gluttony, picking up a magazine (_Dessert Weekly_).

X

"A: greed tried yet another stupid experiment," sighed Winry tiredly.

"B: another repercussion has popped up," drawled Edwina.

"Or C: someone's attacking the base…again." grumbled Alison.

All three girls groaned. "_Boys_…" they hissed.

Winry opened the door to greed's laboratory; smoke filled the room. "On second thought," she started with a disgusted look on her face, "I'd rather _not_ know what happened now." With that, she slammed the door and went with the other girls to see if there was any progress in the library. Unfortunately, it was only more chaos there.

Winry gaped at the previously studying boys; they were staring at a smoking suit of armor. "What's going on?" moaned Winry, afraid to find out.

"I'm not sure, Winry," said hope, not turning to face her. "One minute I was walking down here to find out if they had come up with something and the next thing I know smoke is spitting out of me!"

"We had to drag him all the way down here; he's lost all mobility of he's suit." said the bookworm, staring up at his doppelganger intently.

"Can I try something?" asked the harsh voice of SoulReaper as he came into the room. He walked over to hope casually, looked him over, and then pushed him over, landing on the floor with a loud clatter.

"Owie…" moaned the twelve year old that fell out.

"Knew it," stated justice, shaking his head in agreement with himself.

The others stared at the new Al; he was older than the others and resembled SoulReaper more than any other. The new boy stood up and brushed himself off. He smiled at the others. "Hey Winry!" he chirped, not noticing the two Ed clones behind him.

"I heard a loud racket, is everything alright in here?" asked lust, poking his head into the library.

The new Al stopped completely, eyes growing wide at the Ed who most similar to the original. "Nii… Niisan you came back…" he whispered under his breath. His lips began to tremble and tears swelled up in his eyes. "NIISAN!" he cried, flying over to the boy. He tackled him to the ground, hugging him as tight as he could.

"Whoa, Al, slow down!" said lust, caught off guard by his actions. "Where did I go? What're you talking about?"

Al sat up, and still sniffling he said, "I knew you'd come back; I never lost hope. When Sensei explained what happened with the gate and how you… you…" he started to cry again, so he just hugged the boy once more.

Winry glanced back and forth between all the Eds and Als; if she was lost before then she must be in a whole different world now. She looked up at SoulReaper to ask him if he could explain, but she stopped when she saw his expression. He was staring longingly at the two boys in the doorway like he was wishing that it was him there instead.

"Okay, based on the uniforms and the layout of the building, I'm guessing I'm back in Amestris?" called a voice from down the hall. Ed came into the library, and Winry almost died. How many Eds are there?-! The man looked over at the group of people and gasped. "Winry," he breathed, rushing over to her. He stood before her and frighteningly he was about an inch taller—how old is this guy? Without a word he wrapped one arm around her waist and cupped her cheek with his other hand, gazing into her eyes; then he kissed her passionately. Lust practically died that time. But before he had the chance to get to him, SoulReaper pulled the man away from Winry.

"You," he growled, "you finally decided to come back, did you?" he screamed, slugging him in the face.

"Al?" called the new Ed, stunned. "Why are you—" before he could finish, justice hit him again.

"Why am I what?" he demanded loudly. "Why am I doing this after ten long years?" he screamed, landing another blow. "Why am I not happy to see you after so long?" tears started to well-up in his eyes as the new Ed backed up against the wall. "Or why…" choked SoulReaper, "Or why am I a monster?" he screamed.

Ed's eyes widened as Al's long red coat began to turn black and his eyes glow violet. "Al… what…?" whispered Ed, terrified.

In the blink of an eye, Al moved 20 feet over to the man and wrapped his hands around his throat. "There's no such thing as a perfect human transformation without a Philosopher's Stone, Niisan. You should have known that better than anyone." growled the homunculus, tightening his grip. "Why couldn't you just leave me dead? Did it ever occur to you that I _wanted_ to die? Did it?" he yelled, squeezing the man's throat even more.

" AL, STOP!" screamed Winry.

The boy smirked at Ed's pained expression when the girl screamed. "What's the matter?" he whispered, leaning down close to him. "You don't want her to see this, do you?" The man glared at him; the homunculus chuckled. "Take a good look at her," he ordered, "How old does she look?" Ed darted his gaze over to Winry. After a moment, Al saw tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes. "That's right," he whispered, "Because your Winry is long gone."

Ed turned back to Al, and staring up at him determinedly he choked out, "Do it."

Al grinned, but before he could snap the man's neck, hope came flying at him, tackling him away from the Ed. "NO!" he cried. "You can't do this to Niisan!"

"Get off me, kid!" yelled SoulReaper, grasping the boy's head, cutting into his scalp with his nails.

"No…" cried hope, "Not until you stop trying to hurt Niisan…"

The older boy scowled and smothered his counterpart's face with his palm. "You'll thank me for this, kid." With that, blue sparks erupted from his hand and exploded the other's skull. The boy's body fell backwards limply, blood pooling out around it.

Winry fell to her knees, tears cascading down her cheeks, unable to speak.

"H…how could you do that…?" squeaked the sixth Al. "Y-you didn't even blink and he's… _I'm_…"

The homunculus smirked darkly at the boy. "What're you gonna do about it? You're just a scared little kid."

"And I'm one pissed brother!" yelled the new Ed, flying toward SoulReaper. The sin dodged the attack with ease, letting the man hit the floor running.

"If you want it to end so badly, then let me end it!" he came at the other boy again, swinging a rusted right blade wildly. Al grabbed the back of his shirt and spun him around, kicking him to the other side of the room.

"You had your chance years ago! All I want now is payback." He grinned sinisterly again as alchemic sparks began to erupted from his hands. "All I want is for you to die!"

"STOP!" Just as Al thrust his attack at the new Ed, Edwina leapt in the way. She grabbed his forearm tightly as his hand pierced through her torso; she grimaced. "I can't… let you do this…" she choked out, gasping for air. "I know I must turn out to be a really crappy sister… or brother; whatever," she laughed a little, coughing out flakes of blood. "I don't really know what's going to happen… but I know that you'd never do something like this, Alphonse…"

SoulReaper glared at her, flexing his fingers in her gut. "You're not the one I want." He said simply, sending his alchemy coursing through her body; spurts of blood shot out for a moment before he threw her away, limp.

"Stop this!" screamed the new Ed, throwing his arms out submissively. "It's ME you want; leave the others be!"

"Henh; it's not my fault if the get in the way…" he murmured, darting his tongue out to taste the blood on his fingers.

"What happened to you, Al?" whimpered Ed. "Where did I go wrong? I only wanted the best for you…" The homunculus stopped completely and stared at him. Then, he began to laugh, harder and harder until tears slipped from his eyes. "What're you…?"

"The BEST for me?" he screamed angrily. "That's the biggest lie I've heard in my life—and I'm already dead!" Slowly, he stood back up straight. "You went wrong when you tried to bring Mom back. If it hadn't been for that one selfish desire of yours we'd BOTH be living a happy normal life!"

Ed looked down, smiling self-loathingly. "You're right," he whispered, "that's why they call me 'greed', isn't it?"

Winry finally looked up at the two, focusing her blurry eyes enough to see it; those thin lenses his tears splashed onto, the glass barriers that hid his eyes… (ZOMG! It's Mr. Smarty-Pants!-!)

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Al: DAMN that's a lotta dying!-!

Me: Yeah… (laughs) since I've been gone I've turned emo, and it shows.

Roy: Then were did that humor come from?

Me: Well one, a large portion of this was written sometime ago, and two, being emo is fun!

Al: Then you're not really emo.

Me: Shaddap! (slaps) At the very least I'm depressed.

Envy Edo: YAY!

Others: …

Envy Edo: I mean—life sucks…

Me: Oh right, sorry to end on what I can only assume is a cliffie coz since I wrote most of it a while ago I'm tired of rereading it, I didn't proofread.

Roy: And it shows.

Me: 'Till next time!

Roy: Or not.

Me: (slaps!)


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